Thank you for lighting a candle for Keara on her birthday yesterday. It means a lot to me, her family and children. I have spent the last couple of weeks in tears mostly with my Birthday and hers. I miss her so much and I don't know when or if there will ever be peace again in my life. Everyone tells me that she would want me to be Ok and I'm sure she would. I wish someone would tell me how to do that because I sure don't know. How can there be so many tears? They seem endless. I know you alll understand and again thank you.
I wish there were some words that could make the pain ease but there isn'nt. Just please know there are alot of us here that are thinking about you and praying for the pain to ease. I do promise that you will learn to live with the pain the tears will never totally stop after all our kids were special to us and they was taken from us. I only found it easier because I found things to do that honored Monica. She loved flowers so I get a start from every plant I see that I know she would like and I planted them every where framing the edges of our yard. I think of her with every beautiful bloom every new color that surprises us. There was even a plant that I thought was dead and it surprised us with the most beautiful blue flower. Do whatever you need to do to help her memory live on. Sending you love and prayers.
Like the other moms I wish there were some magic words to say to take this pain from our hearts.
I to try to do things for my son. I was sitting on my front porch looking at the yard I have one corner garden that I have decided to take and make a memorial garden for Jim. I have Glads,Daffodils, Iris even a naked lady planted there. I am taking all the bulbs out and doing some rearranging. It should be beautiful next spring. And since I didn’t burry Jim I am thinking of having a small headstone (memorial) made to put there also.
Much love and many Prayers to you
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley
Last yesr I planted a memorial garden with my grandchildren, Keara's children. It is in my yard and I added more flowers this year. I got flowers that would bloom throughout the growing season and will come back next year. I also teach anger management anc conflict resolution to kids in schools and also to adults in the hope that I can keep this from happening to others. With that though my heart still just hhas this open wound and I miss Keara so much.I feel so bad for my grandchildren who lost their Mom and for my other children whose lives have been forever changed because their sister was brutally murdered. Sometimes it is just so hard to keep going. Keara was the only one of my children who lived close by. I would talk to her every day ands see her and the kids a lot. Now because they live with her ex husband I see them seldomly. I live alone and even though I have a sister close by she has not been supportive at all. This jpurney is so hard and so lonely and I am so tired. I wish I could be more positive. Nobody except my children in my family even mentions Keara's name. It's as if she never lived and that is so painful to me. I have told them it would help me if they would talk about her but they don't. I wish some of you lived close by so we could hug each other. Love to you all and again thank you so much for being here. Thanks also to those of you for lighting candles on Keara's website. It is important to me and to her children to see how many people think of their Mom.
