EACH DAY I FINDING MY SELF WIDE AWAKE. JUST THINKING OF ALL KIND OF STUFF.EVERYDAY I AM CRYING MY LIFE HAVE NOT BEEN GOING LIKE I WOULD LIKE IT TO GO ,I HAVE LOST MY JOB IT IS HARD TO FING ANOTHER,WHEN WILL I WAKE UP FROM THIS NITEMARE.I WOUNDER WHAT I DID TO GOD TO HAVE TO GO THRU THIS ,LIFE I JUST NOT FAIR AT ALL .I MISS MY SON I KNOW WE WILL GET THRU THIS ,THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN GO MY HUSBAND WILL NOT TALK ABOUT NOTHING AND THAT MAKES ME MADD AS HELL.ONLY YOU MOMS KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THRU. MY LOVE TO YOU ALL JOANN(HUBERT)MOM.
I have been having those days too. Can't get to sleep then once I do I can't stay asleep. I also lost my job I still work at the same place but was put back into my old position, but that is OK with me instead of being a supervisor I am a lead in my department. I am begining to think I will never wake up from this nightmare. I miss my son so much my heart hurts. But this is the place to find some comfort from all the wonderful mom's here.
You are in my thoughts today
OH MS.JOANN I KNOW THAT FEELING ALSO,I SEND U MY LOVE AND MANY'S HUG'S,U ARE SOOOO SWEET,I WISH I COULD TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY,I REALLY DO!!!YES WE ARE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER,NOT FARE THAT WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS,KISSES AND HUG'S ALWAY'S!!
I know, I fall alseep but toss & turn all the time and wake up thru out the night and I take medicine to help me! I'm always tired, when I go to bed I cry most of the time, I talk to Timmy and I pray to God and I ask why?? what did I do??? I always thought I was a good person, why am I suffering all this pain, what did I do wrong?? It's a never ending nightmare. God Bless
I started drinking cause the pills they gave me made me freakout. I know drinking is no solution. Right now, I don't care. I hide it from my family but I want to confess on here because you Moms are the only ones that care. I don't want any lectures because I already know it's not good for me. It's better than the sleeping pills and anti-depressants. I wish I could get closer to God and it's not because I haven't tried. I just want to smother this pain and sleep when I get home.
Don't start drinking Joann, I just wanted you to know.
I haven't slept in so long either, and like someone else, when I do it is fitful sleep. I have had a recurring dream throughout my life of pulling all my teeth out. One time my daughter looked it up to see what it meant and it said that it is a feeling of not being in control. Lately all of my dreams have been me pulling my teeth out or losing them. I guess it fits since I feel so out of control right now. I am so tired and I have huge bags under my eyes and I don't even care. I feel like a zombie some days just existing. We are supposed to start attending our Compassionate Friend meetings soon and our Parent's of Murdered Children meetings. Do they help? I have felt God's presence through this, but it still hurts and I still question. I know God is carrying me right now because this is killing me.