I feel compelled to write this because it seems as though I have the most time into this pain. I feel like I need to tell you that the pain you are in will get easier to live with. The pain NEVER will go away, after 5 years I still have days I want to just lay down and die. But now I am able to notice the beauty around me again, I enjoy the sunset, the sound of the rain on a tin roof, the stars in the sky. I even have wondered if my Monica helps God to pour the rain. If our children are the stars brightly lighting up the skys. I have been blessed to have signs that my Daughter is with us still not completly gone from us. I was driving one day and I was crying so hard needing to know that she was safe in heaven and I looked up and said please show me she is okay. All of a sudden there right in front of me in the beautiful skies of blue was a silloette of my daughter oh what a beautiful sight. Maybe I made it because I was so busy trying to get my grandchildren through the visons of that night the countless hours of counseling. Maybe it was because I work at a Thrift store that all proceeds go to the Safe House and I feel I am helping others I do not know but I do look back and wonder how I made it through 5 years. I know you all can to 1 day at a time.I just wanted to tell you this and maybe it will help. Praying for you all.
That is beautiful and thank you. I believe you did see Monica that day I know our children come to us all in different ways I haven't seen my Jim but I feel him I don't actually hear him it is like something just comes over me and I know what he is saying to me. What really makes me believe this is durning the trial when things weren't looking good Jim told me don't worry mom he is going to get 2nd degree murder and that was exactly what the little freak got.
Thank you so much the words it will get easier coming from you make me believe it will.
Much Love Jimmy's Mom