I lost my 44-year old youngest son on May 1, 2018 to murder. Not by a gang member nor was he killed by an armed robber but at the hands of his only son, who was 19 years old at the time. The most difficult part of the situation was I witnessed the entire incident when his son, stabbed him in his jugular vein. He died almost instantly right in my home. Since that ill-fated day, I have yet to spend one night in my home alone. In fact, I spent the first five months sleeping overnight at my oldest son’s home. I have been to grief counseling since June and it hasn’t done any good. When I walk into my kitchen area where he passed I just can’t get him out of my mind. Nothing can replace him as he and I were so close. We had spent the entire morning together – running around and taking care of personal business. We have yet to attend court yet and his son was immediately charged with murder. I would like for him to spend the next 30+ years behind bars. I am angry and hurt and no matter what I do, I cannot seem to get the incident out of my head. I can only ask God to help me.