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Son's birthday is approaching

My son Phillip Hunt Jr. Was murdered (4) years ago this March..his birthday is February 17..he would be 36 years old. God I miss my child..It seems like all this happened yesterday. Sometimes my pain is so bad I feel like I cant breath..I' ve been crying for 4 years..holidays birthdays an the day his life was taken in unbearable..I am sick while awaiting his birthay..I love this child unconditionally. Everyone keeps saying you have such great memories..Well guess what memories are what hurts just reminders that my child is gone..Im so heart broken..