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Can't stop missing him

Today would have been Casey's 35 birthday, it's been 14 years now since I celebrated his birthday with him, the rest have been at his grave. My heart aches for his smile, his laughter, his hugs & "I love you, Mom". He was murdered in our yard because he was helping a neighbor change her wiper blades, as simple as that was, I lost him forever. Many days I do not want to get out of bed, sometimes I can feel him with me but not as often as I would love. I don't understand why he had to leave in such a horrible manner. My family have given up on me, their attitude is "he is dead", but not to me, never to me. Too many days I want to be with him, join him where he is. I am not the same, I won't ever be again. I want the anger to stop, I just don't know how. I love you Casey Kid & wish that day never happened.

Re: Can\'t stop missing him

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it’s like and what you are going through. Nothing is going to take away your pain it is everlasting but I will keep you in my prayers. My son was murdered on November 29th 2009 the day before his 32 birthday. I often write letters to my son to help me manage my grief. I feel like I am the only person in the word who can’t stop grieving. He was my only son and I was not able to protect him. I so want to be able to see him, love him and hear those words love you mom. I been crying all day and I decided to go on line and look for someone to talk to about my loss but there is no 24 hour hotline for us so we grieve in silence most of the time. I wish you peace and happiness.