Sherry, I am so sorry I missed Brandy's Birthday. I had it on my calendar and forgot to look! We always celebrate Keara's Birthday also and it is definitely bittersweet. This year my Grandson didn't even want to go! When is Brandy's angel day?
Looks like Brandy's birthday was October 14, Darien. God bless you, Sherry, for getting through it with grace and style... and tears.
Last December 14, we had Rachel's 23rd birthday without her. She was our Celebration Angel and was THE holiday spirit every holiday and birthday. She made me a beautiful 2011 calendar for Christmas 2010 (two months before she was killed) and, weirdly, she had forgotten to denote any of the holidays on the entire calendar (and she was a detail freak). I can only guess that her soul knew we wouldn't be interested in any holidays in 2011....
But I digress. On the day that her killer was finally sentenced to prison, December 8, 2011 (he'd received 20 years, all suspended, but violated his probation in numerous ways during the week after his original sentencing hearing), two days before Rachel's fiancé's funeral (cancer) and six days before what SHOULD HAVE BEEN Rachel's 23rd birthday, I suddenly knew exactly what I wanted to do with her Columbia coat I'd bought for her when she was 19, as well as the expensive hooded sweatshirt she'd wanted and received for her 22nd birthday: I wanted to burn them. They'd been in my living room, wrapped in more and more Febreeze bags over the previous 10 months due to the ever-increasing decadent smell of her blood on them, and I couldn't bear to throw them away.
One of her coworkers had a huge backyard with a firepit, and her manager doused the coats in gasoline. We stood and watched them burn to ashes. Some of her coworkers had a big butterfly cake made with cupcakes with Rachel's edible picture (the same picture on the memorial pages here). We ate the cupcakes around Rachel's picture; nobody could bear to take a part of her face, which is stored in my freezer. Her three younger siblings blew out the candles. We wrote messages on five red heart helium balloons and sent them off to her in the dark, over the fire pit still burning with the ashes of her coats.
And that night, though I didn't think I'd be able to do it, I felt... propelled... by something other than myself to put up the Christmas tree, as we did every year as part of Rachel's birthday celebration, only this tree had nothing but angel ornaments with two of them that had Rachel's and Andy's (fiancé) names on them. And I cried myself to sleep.
To be sure, we do laugh a lot when reminiscing about Rachel, as she was one of the funniest people we've ever known. My laughter always turns to tears and sobs....
We're coming up on Andy's one-year death anniversary and what SHOULD BE Rachel's 24th birthday, and my heart is breaking. I just don't see how I can do this again, but I know I will. It's as if my body gets taken over by my beautiful daughter's spirit, and I do things I wouldn't remotely think I could do.
Darien....Brandy's angel day is Dec. 21st. It will be 1 year since she was murdered. I want to apologize to everyone because I haven't been on the website much. I have been having some really rough times for a while now. I broke my ankle and pulled the ligaments in it so I have been in a splint and then a cast for 12 weeks. My depression seemed to get worse during this time. We decided to put my granddaughter back in public school about 3 weeks ago and she seems to be doing better being around kids again. The doctor put her back her antidepressant she told her aunt that she just couldn't handle things anymore. I know how she has felt because I haven't felt up to talking to anyone at all. We were suppose to have a trial Nov. 13th but the judge on the case postponed all of his cases until Jan. 28, 2013 so we have to wait some more to see the creep pay for he did to Brandy and our family. The holidays are going to be so hard to go through. :( Please forgive me if you post a reply and I don't answer you back. I will eventually.