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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)
Each time I have gone to my daughter, Brandy's, grave has been hard but I think this last visit has been the hardest since her death. I took my granddaughter, Dale, this past Friday to her mother's grave because I just didn't think I could do it on Sunday. We place a rose, a balloon and an angel at the grave. I leaned over and placed a kiss on the headstone and then told my daughter, I loved her and how much I missed her. Dale kissed the headstone also and said some things I couldn't hear. As we walked back to get in my van, Dale broke and ran back to the grave crying she couldn't leave her mama. It felt like my heart was getting ripped right out of my chest all over again. I finally got Dale to get back in the van and she cried all the way home. I so wish that scumbag could see what he has done to my family. Every time we go to court he sits there like he just doesn't have any remorse. I would love to claw his eyes out but I know it wouldn't do any good. :(
I am so very sorry for what you and your granddaughter are going through, I know there are no words to take the pain away so I am sending HUGS.
I am so sorry for what you and Dale are going through... I could not go visit David on Mothers Day - I just couldnt do it. I have not been to the grave in some time and feel very guilty about it. I bought some flowers - arranged them in a pot - to take up to him. They sit on my porch - I cant go up there... I am glad you took Dale though - I know it is very hard for her... She is blessed to have you. Hang in there!
Thank you all for your prayers, love and support. If not for Dale, I don't think I could go to Brandy's grave. She will tell me, I need to go see about mama, Nene and we will go. We just left her earlier at Camp Magik which is a grief camp for children. So far it is 10:18 at night and she hasn't had them to call us. Praying that this helps her. As it is we will be homeschooling Dale next year because the teachers steady stay on her. One of her teachers called during CRCT testing to complain that she didn't take the whole 70 minutes to take the CRCT test and just took 20 minutes. She passed the test, not sure why she had to complain. It got so bad that I had the school's resourse office come to the police station to come and talk with Dale about her behavoir. The resourse officer said there was nothing wrong with Dale except she was grieving and that they need to quit nicpicking about everything she does. Michelle, you will be able to go eventually. Praying for you.
I have to say I am absolutely appauled by the schools behavior! Can you speak with the superintendent of the school? Our school system has been so entirely supportive - the superintendent and several teachers attended David's visitation and they have all been watching my daughter, Alicia. Especially for the first few months. They have not pressured her - the counselor has been there for her if she has needed to talk to him. I cannot imagine that the teachers at Dale's school have behaved like that! I don't blame you for homeschooling her with that going on - ridiculous!!!! I am so glad that she is at grief camp - she will be with other children who have gone through similiar experiences and hopefully will feel comfortable and maybe make some new friends that can help her too! My love and thoughts with you both!!!!
Michelle, I have given up on talking to the superintendent at our school. We contacted him about a problem several years ago and he didn't do anything. The teachers acted like they were supportive to start with but then they seem to think Dale should have been over it already. Dale really enjoyed the camp she went to. She made a lot of friends but she also opened up to the couselors that she talked to.They suggested that we get in touch with the Big Brother/Big Sister program and get her a big sister to spend time with. Today was her last day of school and she got a certificate for superior work in ELA, Science and Social Studies. Her grades had dropped but she worked hard to bring them back up. She will be going to the 6th grade next year. It really ticks me off that her mother is not alive to see her grow up. Sending my love and prayers to you all on here. My thoughts are with each and every one of you!
Sherry - I am so glad things are looking up a little for Dale. Her mother is watching her accomplishments - cheering her on and loving her every minute of every day - don't let her forget that... I am glad that she enjoyed the camp and seemed to get alot out of it! Maybe that program will do her good - someone to spend some time with outside of the family - might do her some good! And great job to Dale for working so hard to try and recover her grades and get excellence certificates! That is fantastic! I am so proud of her!!! Thoughts and love to all of you!
Michelle....I know that you are right...Brandy is cheering Dale on with everything she is doing. Dale has been staying next door at my other daughter's trailer since Friday. I am so proud of Dale. Last night she texted one of the girls that she met at Camp Magik. This young girl was having a really hard day yesterday and told Dale that no one loved her. Dale texted her for a really long time and finally the girl was in better spirits. Dale told her Aunt Dawn that going to camp helped her understand that here were others that were grieving and sometimes needed someone who understood their pain. She reached out to help without being told to. How is your daughter doing? I hope that she is doing okay in school. How did your day go when you gave your impact statement? I hope the a**hole got the maxiamum sentence. My thoughts and prayers were with you that day as ever day. Sending my love to you and your family.