Hi Michele, You are going through such a difficult time and I understand how much your heart hurts. It's a pain that doesn't go away but as time goes by it is a little easier to deal with. Some days are ok and others put you right back to the beginning. It's like a roller coaster. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you do have other Moms that care about you and are here when you need to talk. Love ya, Darien