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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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Really hard few days....

Yesterday was the pre-trial for the man who killed my son, David. I will try and summarize and hope I dont confuse anyone as my mind is pretty tangled today.

When we met with the prosecutor months ago he told me that he would let us know if there was any talk about a plea or anything. I have emailed him several times asking, if i get a response from them it is "no change." I sent the prosec an email last week saying I was a nervous wreck and wanted to know if Aaron was going to plead guilty to anything or what was going to happen. I never heard one word from them.

So yesterday we were told to be there at 9 am. Most of our immediately family and some friends were there. They ended up putting several cases in front of us - first the defense atty was not there yet as he was in another courtroom. Then they forgot to bring Aaron over from jail! They took multiple breaks during the morning, going into judges chambers a few times. They gave a break right before they called my sons case and told us to go stretch our legs. We did. We got back and the judge says, "I understand there has be a resolution to this case." I am saying - what the heck is going on. Aaron ended up pleading no contest to manslaughter. The prosecutor never told us this - it was like he slapped me in the face! I was kind of expecting this to happen based on the little bit we had been told prior - but for the prosecutor to disrespect myself and my family by not giving me a heads up - even if it was 30 seconds before it happened set me off. A hard day, and hard information to hear was made even worse by the inconsiderate nature of the prosecutor. I was literally screaming and the victims advocate women afterwards - she asked if I wanted to talk to the prosecutor as he snuck out of the courtroom right after - i told her no she can relay how mad and hurt I was to him - and I have still not heard anything.

So essentially he can now get max 15 years and/or $7500 fine! His sentencing is May 7. The judge encouraged everyone to write letters to assist her in her sentencing. And basically the only difference in pleading no contest versus guilty is that the judge cannot talk to him - he claims now he does not remember that night or day! BS BS BS!!!!! He is a coward! He shot my son in the back and now wont talk to anyone about it!!!!

I then went to David's grave and spent about an hour with him talking and bawling my eyes out. I am not sure that it was the best decision but I had not been to see him since Valentines Day and I really needed to talk to him yesterday.

I have been crying since 11 am yesterday morning and trying to get through work today - should have had the foresight to take today off! Oh well. At least I work with very wonderful supportive people who understand completely and have been with me through all of this.

I am just so upset - I might be handling this slightly better had the prosecutor had some compassion for my feelings and done his job like he promised....

love to all - thanks for listening...

Re: Really hard few days....

Michelle
I am so sorry you are going through all of this, so many of the moms here have similar stories, I just can not believe that the family of the victim doesn't have any voice in the plea. I threw a huge fit when I heard the words plea deal I said NO WAY it will be all or nothing. Our DA was the greatest she and the advocate always kept us informed on everything that was going on. Even when there was stuff they couldn't tell us they would say we have this information but right now we have to hold back and not let anyone know about it.
I sure hope he gets the max although even that isn't enough time, as far as I am concerned murder is murder and why should these murdering POS have a second chance at life,,,,,,,, our kids sure don't get a second chance.
Hugs Jim's Mom

Re: Really hard few days....

You are SO exactly right! That was a major point that I made to the reporter today - my son is gone, he wont come back, he wont get another chance a life. Yet this man will be out in public enjoying his life in 15 years or LeSS! It is absolutely sickening to me how this has gone. I thought, small town, small county, small tight-nit community - there would be justice, they would do their job - they would keep us informed. It is not like I am one of these people who sit back and wait for something to happen - truth be told - I am a pain in the ass - ask my husband! I have emailed and called them several times and no response from them or just that nothing has changed. The victims advocate women is a joke - she couldn't even return my email last week and say that she didn't have the answers and was forwarding it to the prosecutor for response. Instead she asks me right before court if the prosecutor responded - no she said - well he was suppose to respond to you. Nothing. Then she goes on about how her foot surgeons office took a week to call her back and how they should be fired. After this all went down my husband told her - you should look at firings within this office at the people who dont do their job. Not right - You can tell I am just so upset - it is hard enough to have to live life with the pain of not having one of your children with you and all the dreams you had for that child are gone forever - distroyed - never to be made into memories. Then to do this to me on top of it - from a person who is supposed to be working for us!? Joke with a capital J!

UGHHH - I just want to scream - I want to bury my head in the sand and make this all go away - I cant imagine how you moms have survived and not gone absolutely insane! I know it will get better someday, my head tells me that - but my heart - tells me something entirely different. Just when I thought that I could fake my way through a day to get by - this...and then there will be the sentencing - god help me....May 7, 2012 9 a.m. est - be thinking of me and my family and my son that cant speak for himself any longer.... Please.... I need all the strength I can get...

Re: Really hard few days....

Michelle, I am so sorry for happened in court yesterday. My daughter, Dawn, said to tell you to wait about a week to let the anger and betrayal subside some and then make a point to go see the prosecuter face to face to tell him how you feel. She said that is the only way you will get any closure from it. My thoughts and prayers have been with you the past few days as our childrens angel anniversary approaches. Tomorrow marks their 3 month angel anniversary and I wonder sometimes if they have met in heaven. I have this strong urge as I write this to tell you that David loved you so very much and had a lot of respect for you even though you might not have realized it. I will be thinking of you tomorrow as well as our children.

Re: Really hard few days....

Sherry - Thinking of you and your family on this angel day we share.... rough day... You are in my thoughts...