I feel the same way daily I want my son, I miss him so very much. It's been 4 years but seems so much longer since I saw him or talked with him, but then again it feels like only yesterday that he was murdered.
Hugs
Jimmy's mom
Im so lost and far removed from normal..I honestly dont know if it is possible when your child is ripped from us in such horrible ways. Sudden, violent, and painfully. I too was here often..and have drifted..in my drifting, I have tried to "erase" the memories...but they dont go...and never will. My soul is still missing a large part..and will until the day we meet again. I too feel so abnormal that I feel people can look at me and see the emptiness..the loss of feeling and most emotions. I doubt any amount of therapy will work..luckily im not a drinker..if i was..i'd be in big trouble..i just truck along, ignoring the fact that I am without her..justice still hasnt come..still waiting, but even that wont help make things right again. As far as family..my 19 year old is unexpectedly..and quite unfortunate at the moment pregnant, as she is high risk, disabled with asthma, ptsd, and severe anxiety living only on disblity..and the daddy doesnt work..she was the strong headed child..im hoping i can cope with a little one..help her the best I can..and hope that all goes well..perhaps that will heal a small part of my soul...but as for her..she believes her baby is Leah reincarnated. She is already picking out names with the name leah in them. I myself see this as her also losing normalcy...I dont think its a possibility any more.
THank you moms..god bless you all..and you are often in my thoughts..i just try to avoid remembering i had a daughter that was murdered.
I have only begun walking this road that some of you have been on for so long and this thread says it all to me. I am also feeling the same things conveyed here by you all and it has only been three weeks since I lost David. I am beginning to see that things really never will be normal again. You know that I guess - in reality. But I still feel like he will text me, call me, or walk through that door any minute and it doesn't seem as though that will ever change. I wish there was a majic trick that could help us all! My best to you and my heart aches for you. I will be sending love and prayers your way. They say, and I have always lived by the manta of: everything happens for a reason. I can't see what the reason is for any of this! Usually one comes into sight - not this time. The murder - this taking of young lives from people who love them so much - accident or on purpose - stupidity rules in some of these situations (as mine) - and with much purpose (as with the murders of other children) - all is so evil, so unforgivable, how do you go on when you cannot find any spot of your heart to be forgiving? How do you not have "fantasies" about what you want to happen to the god awful person who played God and took your child's life in their hands? Are these questions that can ever be answered for any of us?
