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I've lost normal!

Hello my sister moms!
My 21 Year old son Wesley was stabbed to death 7 years ago. For the first 5 years or so I was here daily. So many of my "sister moms" comforted me, I know that when I wander away I pay the price...when I feel the need to come back for comfort I am in so much pain and the tears blind my vision.

This time it is simple.

I want to hold him.
I want to feel him.
I want to kiss him.
I want to smell him.
I want to dream about him!
Karen Wes's mom

Re: I've lost normal!

I am sorry about your son Wes if I haven't in the past told you. Our daughter Lisa was stabbed to death over 3.5 years ago and what normal is anymore I have no idea. I have found one thing that this world is so evil and people are so uncaring so if that is normal then screw that I don't ever want to be normal. But much like you and our other sister moms would give anything in this world to hold Lisa one more time and tell her how much I love her. Sending lots of love and hugs your way Karen ♥

Re: I've lost normal!

So very sorry you know that we will never stop wanting our child with us or needing our child with us. Monica would of been 35 years old on January 5th but like you someone took my child away from me. I send you love and prayers my friend.

Cindy Monica's Mom

Re: I've lost normal!

I feel the same way daily I want my son, I miss him so very much. It's been 4 years but seems so much longer since I saw him or talked with him, but then again it feels like only yesterday that he was murdered.
Jimmy's mom

Re: I've lost normal!

Im so lost and far removed from normal..I honestly dont know if it is possible when your child is ripped from us in such horrible ways. Sudden, violent, and painfully. I too was here often..and have drifted..in my drifting, I have tried to "erase" the memories...but they dont go...and never will. My soul is still missing a large part..and will until the day we meet again. I too feel so abnormal that I feel people can look at me and see the emptiness..the loss of feeling and most emotions. I doubt any amount of therapy will work..luckily im not a drinker..if i was..i'd be in big trouble..i just truck along, ignoring the fact that I am without her..justice still hasnt come..still waiting, but even that wont help make things right again. As far as family..my 19 year old is unexpectedly..and quite unfortunate at the moment pregnant, as she is high risk, disabled with asthma, ptsd, and severe anxiety living only on disblity..and the daddy doesnt work..she was the strong headed child..im hoping i can cope with a little one..help her the best I can..and hope that all goes well..perhaps that will heal a small part of my soul...but as for her..she believes her baby is Leah reincarnated. She is already picking out names with the name leah in them. I myself see this as her also losing normalcy...I dont think its a possibility any more.
THank you moms..god bless you all..and you are often in my thoughts..i just try to avoid remembering i had a daughter that was murdered.

Re: I've lost normal!

Hey Karen, I know what your saying. I wandered away too, but still I come back. Even after 8 years still some days it's still so painful.

Re: I've lost normal!


I have only begun walking this road that some of you have been on for so long and this thread says it all to me. I am also feeling the same things conveyed here by you all and it has only been three weeks since I lost David. I am beginning to see that things really never will be normal again. You know that I guess - in reality. But I still feel like he will text me, call me, or walk through that door any minute and it doesn't seem as though that will ever change. I wish there was a majic trick that could help us all! My best to you and my heart aches for you. I will be sending love and prayers your way. They say, and I have always lived by the manta of: everything happens for a reason. I can't see what the reason is for any of this! Usually one comes into sight - not this time. The murder - this taking of young lives from people who love them so much - accident or on purpose - stupidity rules in some of these situations (as mine) - and with much purpose (as with the murders of other children) - all is so evil, so unforgivable, how do you go on when you cannot find any spot of your heart to be forgiving? How do you not have "fantasies" about what you want to happen to the god awful person who played God and took your child's life in their hands? Are these questions that can ever be answered for any of us?

Re: I've lost normal!

I feel you I missed my son our angles will be with us always