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I wonder

I have not received the coroners report yet its been 10 months. All i know is he was shot in the chest with a 40 style gun. Today i looked on youtube to see what that type of gun would do to the body of a young man. Well i guess i know it kills them. Still i wanted to see the wound, the blood. I dont know why i just do. I also want to send word to the guys that did it, they are going to jail. Tell their mothers they can thank me later, at the trial. Thank me because i am not praying for the death of their sons. That is a gift, i wonder if the mother realize it? I wonder if they are aware of what their sons have done to me and my entire family? I want the killers to know that i know who they are and i know they did it. I want them to know the indescriable pain they have caused me and my family. Thank you for letting me express my pain, pain that i can not express to anyone else. no one else understands, how would they.

Re: I wonder

Have you requested it directly from the coroners office? I did soon after Keara was murdered and they sent the copy of the autopsy, I didn't get the pictures of her and I never saw her dead. The way he killed her was brutal and I didn't want to see her that way. I understand what you feel because there are times that I wish I had seen her body to say goodbye. I could still get the pictures I guess and I go back and forth about requesting them but so far I haven't. So as you can tell you have company here and can say whatever you want. Keara's murderer showed no remorse at all. In fact he acted as though he was the victim. I hope every day that he is suffering but that doesn't bring her back. This is such a hard road that we are on. Hugs.

Re: I wonder

I totally feel for you as well. I have not seen my son's report either (Dex was murdered 9 months ago. I have requested a copy though. We are members of a "club" that noone would wish on another Mom. And, I doubt any of us ever thought we would be going through this pain. You are definitely in my prayers as all of the Moms who have lost a child are. It is just a pain that has no description. My son was shot in the back while at work. It was a B&E which obviously went very, very wrong. His murderers are still out there. He was 36 but he is and always will be my baby. He is my only child. Hugs and prayers to you.

Re: I wonder

First I'd like to say how sorry I am that you ladies are here...10 months after Chris was murdered by his father a plea deal was accepted giving him just 2yrs w/time served...he has been out since feb 2011..Chris will be gone 3yrs Dec.
I was given no info at all, It was nightmare on top of nightmare...what that court did to my son...labeled an abuser...letting him say it was self defense... 8 shots to my boy, try and throw him naked to the sea off a 40 ft cliff...clean up house, go camping...more like self preservation
So I didn't get the autopsy until I paid for the police report after the hearing...Hawaiian style judicial syatem.
No pictures...never saw Chris...I can live with that choice...it's how he would have wanted it. I read it On Easter and it was very very hard. I'm the only one who has read it...except for the autopst it was mostly lies with a few chilling details meant for me to remember...
a sociopath has no conscience, they know right from wrong, they just don't care...they have no love in their hearts only self love...that's why we don't see much remorse...only self pity...4% of us humans don't have a conscience...that's 4 out of 100.
I hope you find justice soon...
Much love to you ladies

Re: I wonder

Hi Christa
I went to the sheriff's Dept. and got the autopsy report on my son Jimmy no pictures I saw a picture in court one day my Jim laying on a table with a sheet up to his waist and a bullet hole in his chest. I saw this as the DA was handing it to another lawyer wasn't meant for me to see. I never wanted to see him that way. I read the report but it didn't really sink in I had my sister who is a nurse tell me what everything meant. The bullet entered his chest then traveled downward hitting every major organ. The mother to the POS that murdered my son was with him it was her gun! She was never charged seems she would only have gotten 18 months tops so I guess the county didn't want to spend the money on a trial. I have heard she has cancer I just figure pay back is a B!!! I saw no remorse what so ever from the POS or his family. But I did hear whan he went back to jail after sentencing he was crying like a baby so different from the smug SOB who kept telling everyone he would be out soon because he was going to be found NOT GUILTY sitting in court everyday so smug and confident he would be a free POS soon. So true no one except another mother walking this road can understand the pain we live with every day.
Hugs Big Jim's Mom

Re: I wonder

Thank you all for your prayers and support. It strange how a blog can be so very helpful. People that i have never met, have given me an outlet. I thank you all, for this posting and the posting to come. I feel as if my grief is turing to rage. I want to hand out flyers with the killers of my son photo on the flyers. The only reason i have not is because i am scared it might harm the case, once they are caught. I have posted messages on fb saying dont rest the cops are coming. I am angry at the killers, i am angry with my son for not surrounding himself with people that truly loved him. He was with a friend (yeah right) that saw the entire thing and wont tell. He texted me saying that isnt what he do. Really, and this level of grief isnt what i do.