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Don't think I know how to be a mom anymore???

Why is it that I feel I have lost control of my other two son's ages 22 and 17?? I have pleaded and try talking to them from stying on the right road for them selves.One of them know's everything and does not want to be told what to do.Has outstanding tickets,recently served a week in jail to pay some of them off,the other is failing school and doesnt have any motivation to do anything beside hanging out with his buddies that won't meet me for who know's what reason.He won't answer his cell phone or tex's??? I feel I have lost them and I feel I am being a bad mom because of their choices in life. I have talked and talked to them about everything I can think of but it goes through one ear out the other? To top it off I have to take care of myself because I have to put me first to stay healthy inside and out.How??????????

Re: Don't think I know how to be a mom anymore???

Sandy don't beat yourself up, you are not a bad mom. I have a son that just turned 40 who is once again trying to get his life on the right track. Through the years I tried talking with my son but it seemed everything I said was falling on deaf ears. I finally gave up and quit helping him in anyway unless he was trying to help himself. So once again I am hoping that this time he gets it together not only for himself but for his girlfriend and the new baby that is on the way. I love him, I worry about him but I can not control him.
Hugs Jim's Mom

Re: Don't think I know how to be a mom anymore???

Lost control?
Are they pulling away from you?
Are they pulling away from each other?
We don't know how to grieve until it happens to us.
I have now idea what it feels like to loose a brother. Like you...I lost a son...well, I didn't loose him...he was murdered.

Sandy this must feel like such a battle for you. How do you give children room to become young adults after loosing one of them to murder? All of the MOMS here know how it feels to one day get that phone call that turns our world into a nightmare.

Our sister-MOMS will come through with some comfort, perspective and maybe even some helpful suggestions for you. Hug them every chance you get!
Karen Wes's mom