Hello Sister Moms,
Mothers Day is so painful!
My 21 year old son Wesley was stabbed to death 6 years and 10 months ago. If it wasn't for you all I couldn't imagine how I would of made it this long. Like I always say... it does not get easier you just get use to it.
I wander away every now and then.
I know we are here for each other even when I don't have the internet.
You ALL are in my thoughts and prayers.
My tears find comfort and you help me heal.
I'm sharing all the sadness with you and wish for all to receive a sign from their murdered child today.
Karen Wes's mom
(((hugs))) I wish I knew the words to say. Mother's Day was terrible for me, as all the holidays are.
You know as well as I do about finding words... there are none... unless you are one of us.
Our sadness, our suffering, our pain, sorrow, loss and grief unite us. Who would of ever thought those feelings and emotions would be our common bond and comfort?
I can't speak for every M.O.M.S. here but when I went to group grief counseling, and everyone GASPED when I introduced myself as the mother of a murdered son I knew they "didn't know" and I didn't go back.
There are no words... yet... all my sister mom's know...
as do you too.
Look for your lost child in your dreams...
they know we are grieving... we just need to let them in.
Karen, Wes's mom
So true, I went to a meeting first time not to long after Timmy was killed and I knew it wasn't the right place for me. Some days I feel like I never will ever get better, the pain is just too strong. I try and wish to dream of Timmy, some days I wake up and think was that him in my dream? and I can't remember I feel he was, but don't remember it. I don't even find my dimes anymore. I feel lost most of the time, my other sons lost as well, and I don't know how to help them when I'm in this deep despair myself. Wishng all my MOM's all my love.
I spent the week before and Mother's Day with my oldest and youngest daughter out in Ca. and it helped a lot. It was a lot better than being home by myself.Lately I have been thinking that I need to find ways to join the world again but I honestly don't know how to do that. I just feel so different than all the people I know except for the MOMS.
This is exactly what I mean about finding normal. Wesleys brother Michael got married last year, he has blessed me with a grandson and I feel so blessed that I am a part of their lives. They (and my grandson) fill me with so much joy it equals my tears!
Karen Wes's mom
Congratulations on the new baby
Karen I don't think I have ever heard such a beautiful and sad thought...the joy of your new grandson equals the tears of your loss.That's alot of love I am so happy for you. My grandson was 5 mos when we lost his Uncle I couldn't hold him at first....afraid to love him but love wins and what a cushion of love he has been. His sister is due to arrive 4/20 my daughter's b'day...mine is 4/22. Three generations in one month. I feel the pain I cry every day...but I smile and laugh too...for Chris because my happiness was very important to him. I hope you find peace and joy more in your life now...to help with the pain