WELCOME TO MOMS MESSAGEBOARD


This month's messageboard is sponsored by Bobbie Humphreys

in memory of her son Billy Lee Humphreys

Forum: WELCOME TO MOMS MESSAGEBOARD
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Just lost my daughter

I just lost my 16 year old daughter March 3, 2011. She never made it home after track practice on that day. Her body was found in the desert 2 days later. She was murdered by a school mate who also was our apartment managers son. I have hardly dealt with her loss and the Easter arrived yesterday. I was a basket case....and some how I have to get thru her birthday which is May 3rd. This is all so new and hard how am I supposed to handle all the feelings of the holidays when I dont even know how to handle her loss yet. She was my youngest but she was the only one left at home so we were tight, two peas in a pod. I feel so alone and lost. How do you start to cope and feel like yourself again.

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Re: Just lost my daughter

Celia
I am so very sorry for your loss, I don't know sometimes how we make it through we just do. Holidays, birthdays and angel days are so very hard for us all as time moves on you will find no matter how long your daughter has been gone they are still hard to get through. For me I still have some very bad days (My son was murdered Dec, 16 of 07) and I know I will never be my old self again a part of me died the night my Jim was murdered. I wish I could tell you every thing will be fine this is one rough road we are traveling sometimes we stumble and fall but we can count on each other to help us back up again.
Love and Hugs
Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: Just lost my daughter

Celia, I'm so sorry you have lost your daughter like this. My beloved son Chris was killed by his father 2yrs almost 5 monthes ago...shot 8 times, he was 27.
This is a lonely path we are on but here with all the other MOMS you will feel the love and welcomed.
My son's LOVE is what I've found has kept me alive. He always cared more about us then himself and his mission was to make us happy.
Chris said he got all his niceness from me shortly before he was murdered, his next words were...we won't talk about what I got from Dad. 5 weeks later that pos took him from us.
I'm sorry I really just want to let you know how sorry I am but as you see even on a "good" day it's always there.
Be kind to yourself...

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Re: Just lost my daughter

Celia, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter. As far as feeling like yourself again, that never seems to happen. It was 5 years ago that my daughter was murdered. We just go day to day or even minute to minute at times. As Shirley said it is a rough road but just know that we are here for you and we understand your pain. Hugs, Darien

Re: Just lost my daughter

I am so so so sorry for your loss. I hate that it happened. My daughter Laycee was murdered three years ago this may. I know nothing i say will make you feel better.Honestly i dont think you will ever be the same or feel like the same person you were before you daughter was murdered. All you can do is just keep going lots of times you wont even want to. somehow you will.

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Re: Just lost my daughter

I'm so sorry for your loss. My son Timmy was 15 years old when he was shot execution style walking home from the store, they were after the other young man he was with and killed my son because he was a witness.

The pain is everlasting, I wish I could give you better words of comfort but know you are not alone.

(((hugs)))
Bette
Timmy's mom

Re: Just lost my daughter

Celia, my heart goes out to you, Right now I know you feel like you can't go on, but somehow God has made us mom's stronger than any one can imagine, We have walked through the gates of hell and survived, My son Ruben was shot 5 times by some one that he knew, that was just mad at Jr for some stupid comment that Jr had made. It has actually been 4 years, 2 months and 15 days since I got the call that changed my heart and life forever. You have come to the right place to vent and say what ever you want to. Without Mom's I would not have made it through the bad nights with out him home, or the bad days like his birthday, my birthday (which is tomorrow) Mothers day (which he never forgot to call and wake me up to say happy mothers day "fat girl") or the days when he would have a bad day and he would come home lay across my bed in my arms and tell me what was bothering him. I miss every moment that I don't have him, I miss his laughter, and his smile. I see his friends around town and they hug me and tell me how much they miss him. I am so sorry I was trying to let you know how I was sorry for your loss and I started rambling, Again I am so sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you and your family and all I can really say is stay strong and if you need e-mail me my e-mail is gammyfba@yahoo.com
Love and hugs
Frances

Re: Just lost my daughter

Celia my heart literally ACHES to hear of your loss. My son celebrated his 23rd birthday on March 3, celebrated his only child's birthday on March 4, took me out to lunch on March 12th and was murdered on March 17 by 3 monsters that were "only planning to rob him but he fought back" according to the confession of one of them. Mother's Day has always been my FAVORITE holiday above all others because no matter what was going on in our lives I could always count on both of my sons going to church with me on that day and dinner later. Today...my first Mother's Day with my first born son, my best friend I find myself just going thru the motions, in a big haze or something. Everyone says the first year thru holidays is the worst, I can't even imagine having to go thru another Mother's Day again without him. The have all 3 in custody and as a Christian I would love to say "God have mercy on their souls" but I can't. I think about if they are sentenced to death they will still get probably at least 10 more years of life than my son. 10 years that my granddaughter won't have her Daddy - that's enough "mercy" in my opinion. In AZ, the date of death is considered to be the day the person was found which was March 17, however when the police got to him they estimated he had been gone for about 12 hours already, which would have been March 16. These were "friends" that he knew, they caught him off guard and knocked him over to the ground, the male punched him repeatedly in the face and head (amazingly no broken bones). One female tied his wrists and legs with stereo wire and the other female hit him in his left temple with a socket wrench. They put tape over his mouth, drug him into a bedroom closet and left him. They stole his cell phone, his wallet with approximately $40 in it, his CD collection from his car, left the scene in his car and informed the detectives they were able to buy crossword puzzles and fountain sodas at the convenience store with his money. I'm angry, I'm hurt, and still just very confused as to the lack of sense this whole thing makes. The police informed me of my son's murder on March 18th in the early evening hours. I wasn't able to identify or see my son's body for 6 days after they told me. To read that your daughter was found 2 days later after not coming home....I honestly can say I feel your pain. I "accidentally" stumbled upon this website while looking up information on my own to better understand laws and court process. But I believe nothing just "happens", everything is orchestrated for a reason. I think this is a beautiful thing because only people that have lived this and dealt with this can really relate without all the "so sorry for your loss" and "if there is anything I can do just let me know". Yes I know they all mean well I'm not saying that they don't but when you have a huge hole in your heart that will never be filled all you REALLY want is your baby back. To hug him and hold him again. To smell his cologne or see his smile. I am blessed in that I have a granddaughter that is her Daddy all over again and I love her so much, but even all the love I have for her and that I get back from her it's still not my son. Now, I ask anyone else out there if they can try to help me line my mind up with what my heart feels as best that I can my most difficult thing to grasp is this: When my son was born March 3, 1988 the nurse handed him to me and it was love at first site - I was right there when he took his first breath and for 23 years and 2 weeks I have been right there good or bad, thick and thin for my son. But the day his life was stolen from me, I wasn't there with him when he took his final breath. I wonder did he cry for me? Did he know he was going to die? Many questions I will never know the answer to this I know. How can I get "over" that I wasn't there with him? He died alone, in a closet. Celia, you mention your daughter was found in the desert, I'm curious to know if you also are in Arizona or if anybody on this website is in this state that could direct me to any kind of groups I could go to because this is going to be a long road I have to travel and I don't want to do it alone.

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