April
I know how you feel I don't think it will ever matter how much time has passed we will always feel worse when our children's angel day is looming over us. I too think about what My Jim went through it eats at me knowing he knew he was going to die. I think of him laying in a fetal position on his neighbors porch waiting for the ambulance it makes me sick. Just know you are not alone we all are here for you and we all know what you are going through.
Sending bunches of Hugs
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley
Oh I know that feeling that awful feeling it is one of the things I most dread in my brain over and over again those last few moments, was he scared, did he know I loved him, them making him kneel on his knees lacing his fingers behind his head and they went and shot him anyway, my baby I think of this every day every night it hurts my heart all the time, I even mentioned this in my impact statement because it is something I cannot ever stop thinking of, it's one of the biggest horrible thing I constnatly think of. How much pain must we endure, this is not life to me anymore, I hate it, I miss my son so much!!!! And yes the days of upcoming angel days, b/d's holidays, etc are harder than ever, it will be 4 years this July, feels like just yesterday.
I too April understand exactly how you feel Keara's angel day is coming up on April 5 and I am having those horrible nightmares and daymares. My friends and family too have moved on. They don't talk about Keara anymore and when I do they give me unwanted advice or change the subject. You can always come here and vent. We are all here for each other.
I find myself with the same thoughts alot the past week as well. More so than usual anyway.
I feel my Chris died with a broken heart realising what was to be...that he would die without us and knowing our hearts would be broken without him. Just writting that hurts so bad....I miss him so much.
I imagine that night, I can see Chris being shot in my mind, I see his saddness as his hateful father put 8 bullets into his beautiful body...and then comes the guilt...I should have been there with him.
I am so sorry this has happened to all the ladies here but you have a special place in my heart April. That Laycee was so defenseless so innocent so little is even more heartbreaking.
Time is strange now because everyday we feel that loss of our children taken so unfairly, in an instant and that will always feel like it has just happened for us alone with each other.
Sending Love