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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I'm so lost even after 3 yrs of my son being gone.I have been very quiet at home,work.My son left a little girl behind she is now 5 and asking questions about her daddy? she knows he's in heaven but now she is asking how did he die? what do I tell her?My own nephew shot my son in the head... I'm so angry still!!

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

Hi Sandy
I am so very sorry for your loss, it has been just over three years for me my son left a little girl behind also she was 6 at the time of her daddy's murder. I know what you mean about being quiet at home and work its like something settles over us the people at work know my son was murdered but they don't know or understand the lasting effects. I also understand the feeling of being lost my Jim was my rock always here when I needed him. I wish I had an answer for you as to what to tell your granddaughter, that would be a tough one. I was able to tell my granddaughter that a bad man shot her daddy. We didn't even know the guy and neither did my son.
Sending Hugs
Jim's mom Shirley

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

Hi Sandy,
I am so sorry for the pain you're feeling. My son Chris was shot 8 times by a family member also. It was his father who then threw him over a 50 ft seacliff on Hawaii. I know how it feels to have your most precious gift taken by someone who was so much a part life as we had before this living nightmare began...Chris would have turned 30 last wed 2/23/11
It's just a little over two years that Chris has been gone and his killer is out on a plea deal, tomorrow marks 1 mnth free. Sick
I don't have to know your specifics to know how much harder this makes an already unbearably hard reality, I'm sorry you have this added burden.
In this kind there is no bad man it was family. My daughter will someday have to tell my Grandson Ezra the legacy his grandfather gave him, just days after meeting him for the 1st time at 5 months. Ez is 2 yrs 7 months...the first grandchild.
She will also tell him of his Uncle Chris who loved him and how Chris was LOVED
sending love

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

Thank you so much, i'm so happy to find a group of mothers who i can talk to and listen as well,god bless you all.

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

Thank you lois from the bottom of my heart,my nephew got 10 yrs he is in Tucson and in the medical ward so he is not even doing any hard time.I'm so sorry to hear about your son as well maybe both boys are friends in heaven i'm sure.There was just so many lies etc... with my nephew and his mother who I shall never call sister ever again it is still over whelming. Thank you for your kind words it brings me some comfort that I found other moms that feel the same as I do. God bless you

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

The lies are hard. My son was labled an abuser in court...so not true. Just writting those words hurt my heart. My sons killer did most of his time in the medical ward as well. He thought he had gotten away with his evil and when they found Chris he crashed his car rather than face jail. They cut his leg off though and I'm sure that is his biggest loss. So Thankyou God for that. A friend of mine said that in his heart he knows what he's done and does have to live with that on his soul. So does your nephew and his mother. I'm so sorry you have this in your family now as well.
When a family member does this it's so hard because everyone knows everyone,and these defects gave no thought to any of them as they took our childrens lives and that part sucks. They were family.
My nephews are very angry, we were all very close. They are different now. Chris was the oldest of the cousins and very loving to his younger cousins.
He is really missed. I still can't believe he actually did this to us all...I wish I'd wake up and go back to being thankful he helped to create my 2 greatest gifts even if he was an idiot instead of this final punishment he decided upon giving to us all by taking one of them forever away.
So unfair life has been to us because of another's choice. I have to remember everyday how much I know Chris would suffer to know we ever had this kind of pain so I now try to remember to make others happy when I can because that is what my son would want.
"I got all my niceness from you Mama and we don't even have to talk about what I got from Dad" Chris told me 5 weeks before his death.

Anyway you have found this site and the good ladies here so that is very good. There is alot of love, understanding here when it seems no one else can know what you are feeling and how hard life can be someone will be here to tell you they do.
sending love

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I am so sorry. My one year old Laycee was murdered by my boyfriend while I was at work. He beat her to death. I knew him for 4 years and he NEVER showed one sign of being abusive in any way. It makes me sick. May 7th this year will be three years since shes been gone. My daughter Paige [7yrs] was almost five, Laycee was beaten on May 6th the day after Paiges b day. She was on life support till the morning of the 7th. Paige asks every so often how Laycee waskilled. Its really hard.I hate that I trusted the wrong person, loved the wrong person, and he killed my baby.

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I took down my sons older pictures cause they keep me dwelling on the murder I have his baby pic and up to 12 and i have all this love for him but he cant respond. I miss him so much! Not one of my children come in the door screaming MOM!!!!! to the top of there lungs and when he finds me hes got this big smile on his face and He says to me HI beautiful!!

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I lose my son 1/11/2008 , he left 2 little girls but God was my help I started a org for healing we have a rally every year and we talk and allow the children, mothers or just anyone one who need to just talk to others who have loss their children, September3,2011 if you would like to come just go to face book or e-mail me at thisblessedplace@yahoo.com we have school supplies,Paul Michell hair cuts for boys and nail done for girls and other fun things for the children to enjoy a day of fun.
Don't worry God is in control he dose everything for a reason maybe he's getting us mothers together to heal the land and help each others to heal'


Love you ,feel you, and be blessed.


Bertha

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

You started an org, that is wonderful..... I have a question how long after your lost did you trust God again? I had such a strong belief and trusted in God and after my son's death it hard for me to put my trust in him. I know he didnt take my son, but i know he could have stopped it. Each time i hear gospel music or someone says something about the Lord i get completely choked up.

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

My daughter Keara, was murdered by her boyfriend 5 and years ago. Her children were 7 and 11 at the time. We just told them the truth because it was on TV and newspapers and we wanted them to hear what happened from us rather than some kids from school.

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

Christa
I know what you mean, my faith went right out the window the night my son was murdered. I do know the only one responsible for my son's death is the POS that murdered him, but am so tired of hearing things like God needed another soldier for his army or
god needed another angel it just doesn't work for me.
Hugs
Big Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I would love to go and take my grandaughter, send details

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I was blessed to not ever be mad or blame god for michaels death, not once did it come into my mind.I do agree that the only responsible one was the POS that took his life.prayers! take care of yourself

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

Sandy, I didnt blame God, but i do ask why didnt he stop it

Re: I'm lost even after 3 yrs

I think there is much more darkness and evil in our world than goodness and light and I accept that.
Chris told his sister when he was partially blinded shortly before he was killed it was like God just reached down and poked him in the eye...Aly said I don't think that was God Chris.
I think there was evilness in that house that even God could not stop...I guess it comes down to free will...the killers of our children all had that moment to choose not to kill but they chose not to honor any goodness or God...so we suffer
I think that true evil was nutured in my ex's soul...he had no God in his heart. I'm not mad at God...most of the time I'm more mad at myself...
I'm so sorry that we all have this pain and want you all to know you are always in my heart and you are all so loved