Sorry I haven't written in such a long time, today is the anniversary of Jrs death and I just feel so sad. I had to come to work today because "we have a business to run, and it has been 4 years"I honestly think some times people do not understand the pain and he heart ache that comes with the loss of a child, that someone hurt your child and that they are gone from us, My heart actually aches and I don't know how to make it better, I don't like to vent at my family or friends any more because I am sure they are really tired of it, but I don't know what to do, I WANT MY JR BACK, Please someone tell me how to do this yes it has been 4 years but sittiing here I am remembering that call, going to the hospital finding him gone,the funeral the court the video, the autopsy pictures, the idiot sitting there so smug and confident that he did the right thing, his family cussing at me and making me feel like i had done something wrong when it was there son who decided to take a gun and shoot my son 5 times.I am sorry for all the mothers that have to feel the same pain I am feeling and I wish you were here so we could be with each other when the days come that our children are taken from us so that we could have sone one to hold that understands the pain that we feel. I am so sorry to be venting but I just don't know what to do with myself and my pain, my heart has been broken and I can't seem to make it better. Love and Prayers to all of you.
Jrs mom, Frances
Frances, My thoughts are with you today and as with all the MOMS everyday.
I wonder sometimes if we, the mothers of murdered children are too "nice" per say, to people. Why do I say that, because as Laura Lisa's mom would say "if you want to walk in my shoes, I will gladly give them to you", I think we need to say similar things to people who think that we should be over this cause it's been xx amount of years. As we all know, we would never wish that someone else would ever have to feel this pain we live with everyday, but I think sometimes people just need to be reminded of that, WE are the ones living (or existing) as I prefer to call it with the greatest loss imaginable. I'm not the most tactful person most of the time, I am a tell it like it is kind of person, yet we are people and we have feelings and we know by telling people how we are feeling we are going to make them feel bad, so we hold back. Well I think it's time to not hold back and plainly just tell all the fools that we come across just how it is.
Always remember here is where you can vent and we all know the reason and feel the same.
Hang in there lady and know that we are here for you.
I am so sorry you are reliving all of this once again. People honestly just don't understand they think we should get better just move on. They don't understand when your child is so violently taken from you, you don't move very far from that spot. They have never gotten that call telling them your child has been shot, stabbed, beaten. they haven't had to sit outside the emergency room waiting hoping praying their child will survive and they have never had to hear those words "I am so sorry but your child didn't make it". They don't realise what it is like going through a trial having to sit in the same room with the POS that murdered your child watching him sit with a smug look or smile. they don't realise that even with a guilty verdict the pain is still with us. They just don't understand that when our children were murdered it changed our lives forever and that we will never be the same person we once were. I wonder do people think I am just feeling sorry for myself and if they do, do I care what they think??? NO I DON'T!! I don't think anyone of us feels sorry for ourselves we hurt our hearts have been broken beyond repair.
Sending bunches of Hugs
Francis, Please don't apologize for venting. This is the place to do just that. If it weren't for MOMS I don't know what I would do. We are here for each other, and as others have said the pain continues. We have lost our children in a horrific way and most people cannot understand the incredible pain we feel and as you said they really don't want to hear it. Feel free to vent any time and know we are here for you. Love ya.
There are no words left so here goes and I hope it reaches you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Love and God Bless