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Gerrick\\\\'s mom, Diane

IP: 64.12.116.12

May 6, 08 - 6:06 PM

Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Please if someone, anyone, can share anything about anti-depressants I would appreciate it. For over 4 years I avoided these medications, and now the doctor really wants me to take them, Zoloft. I don't believe, and never will, a pill can change the way I feel. I don't believe it can take my profound longing for my son away, my depression, my anxiety, my PTSD or the stress I feel because I am so **** angry at the murderers that stole my child's life away from him and from me. This has made me literally sick, and I guess I have to do something.
I know I heard some MOMS here talk about this over the last few years, and I hope someone will share.
Thank you,
Gerrick's mom forever

TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM

IP: 69.153.221.50

May 6th, 2008 - 6:49 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

HELLO Diane I have took Zoloft in the past but it was before my son was murdered I believe that it did help me and it didn't make me feel are look crazy noone could tell I was taking it but I did change the way I was feeling I didn't cry anymore or feel so happy Like say something sad happend on Tv. or something I couldn't cry I didn't feel anything and at the time that I was taking Zoloft they gave me the pill because if I seen are hard about something bad happening to someone I would freak out and not let my kids go out side only let there friends come over to my house I did trust other and alway felt if someone hurts are kill one of my kids I just die and look at me what I tried to stop when they were small I couldn't even stop when they got older and now I can't even get anti-depressants I take 100 sleeping pills a weak. I just don't have the money and don't even go outside and I feel like about 60 years old and i'm only 39 years old. have only been outside about 6 times in a year in a half. I pray for us all and I wish we all could just wake up from this bad dream. If you need them Zoloft is good because the have some anti-depressants that make you feel real crazy. hope this help you .Thanks and I love you and all the other sister hear at MOMS TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS YOU,YOUR LOVE ONE'S. TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM R.I.P TO YOUR ANGEL

Jimmy's Mom

IP: 71.141.132.83

May 6th, 2008 - 7:15 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

I take sertraline it is generic for zoloft my doctor told me he wanted me to take this for one year. I take one every night it does help me relax so I can get to sleep I am up by 3:00 am to get ready for work and some mornings I can’t even sleep that late, but I don’t feel totally helpless anymore. I hope this helps you make a decision. God Bless
Jimmy’s mom
Shirley

connie

IP: 216.166.159.185

May 6th, 2008 - 9:28 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Diane,
I take prozac! Not every day but every other day.
I want to get of of it.
It has its pros and cons.
It helps me to cope with things but at the same time I think it stops all emotion, if you know what I mean.
I don't cry all the time.
I also take zanax at night so I can sleep, it is for anxiety.
I was waking up in the middle of the night and would be pinching or hitting myself when I would dream about Justin's murderers.
Thoughts & Prayers,
Connie

Cindy Eller

IP: 204.181.51.85

May 6th, 2008 - 9:34 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

I also take Zoloft and believe me it really has helped. I would break down at everything before I started taking it. Now I cry but I feel I am so much more in control. I tried going off of it but could not handle it because I would be grouchy to my family whenever I felt out of control. Remember one antidepressent does not fit everyone so do not give up if you do not feel any difference let your Dr. know so you can be put on something else. I really feel like any Mom who has been through what we have needs help just making it through the day. Do not be afraid to help yourself. Hope this helps.

Cindy Monica's Mom

Gerrick\\\\\'s mom, Diane

IP: 64.12.116.12

May 6th, 2008 - 10:43 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Thank you ALL so very much, I appreciate it. I have been so against taking these medications, like Terry said some make you crazy, and I just don't know what to expect. I take xanax too Connie, I suffer from anxiety and it does help me sleep. I really am thankful for all your replys so quickly, Terry, Shirley, Connie and Cindy, thank you so much, I love you all. I hurt so much and miss my dear child so very much, my broken heart has affected my whole body and caused so many health problems and the doctor said I have to address these things before it's too late and he prescribed Zoloft. I knew I could count on my fellow MOMS, thank you again.
Gerrick's mom, Diane

Beverly/honored to be leah's mom

IP: 98.160.155.217

May 7th, 2008 - 1:47 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Please be careful what you do with anti depressants/anti anxiety drugs. They are extremely dangerous if you are not careful. I have much experience with them, and without them, and I can tell you, the pain is the same no matter what you take. Nothing in the world can help us other than having our child back, and no drug in the world will ever ever make that go away. I was taking meds since leah's attack, and went off all medication recently. The effects of going off these pills are horrendous, and can lead to death. I was sick for days and days, not able to even function, it was pathetic to say the least. To think that doctors give you medication that makes you so very ill when you go off is very un nerving. I was taking prozac, and xanax. Xanax makes your brain shrink. It causes permanent brain damage. I have taken zoloft, and had negative effects with it. I was able to taper off prozac, although had been on a few others that were not so fun to go off. The anti anxiety is horrible. Try very hard if you can to take large quantities of vitamin b, and go herbal if at all possible. There are good reasons for anti depressants, but honestly, in my opinion, ours is just a matter of life, and the horrible end of a loved ones, not a mental disorder.
Sorry for rambling, hope I helped you.

Gerrick\\\\\\'s mom, Diane

IP: 205.188.116.12

May 7th, 2008 - 11:08 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Leah's mom, you did help me as this is exactly why I refused to take these types of medications since my son was murdered even though I am very depressed and anxious. I always knew that the heartache and grief each one of us feel is unique and will never ever go away unless we have our child back, (like you said)
I also developed other health problems since my Gerrick was murdered. I appreciate your response, and now don't know if I want to try them. Would you mind if I email you? Let me know, my email is longingformyson@aol.com. I figured if and when I did try them, I could always go off them, but a quick online search revealed seizures, suicide and a host of other serious conditions. I don't know what to do, but I do know there is never ever going to be ANYthing worse than what happened to my dear son Gerrick, oh how I long for him and miss him so.
Thank you,
Gerrick's mom, Diane

Donna (Randy\'s mom)

IP: 12.159.240.162

May 7th, 2008 - 3:38 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Diane,

I tried them and all they did was make me sick and sleep too much. One even caused my stomach to cramp up. I found that the more sleep I get every night, it makes it easier to "put on a happy face" for people at work. They tend to be more comfortable with me and it makes it easier to cope. Like everyone says, 1 day at a time. It's usually worse when I get tired or sick. It's only been 6 months since Randy's been gone.

Bette

IP: 216.237.180.2

May 8th, 2008 - 10:42 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

I tried an antidepressant and it gave me headaches. I have been not feeling well for months now, i get bad headaches, I can't sleep, I do take xanex they do help me sleep. I tried to take ambien, but they realy made me whacked out. So I had to stop taking them. So I just take xanex for now, but was thinking tis morning maybe i should look into it as my health is getting worse. I just feel terrible, I lost a lot of weight, my body aches all the time, I cry all the time, but who wouldn't feel this way after what we've been thru???? How can anything or anyone help get rid of the broken hearts we all have? I pray and talk to my baby all the time, sometimes I can't even go to the memorial page (I just recently updated it and it took me a few months to do) I light his candles and read those who light candle for him and I cry and cry and cry and cry. My heart is broken and I don't think anything will ever fix it, so I keep thinking I've got try at least for my other boys, I finally went and had some blood work done today just to rule out anything.

I sometimes think talking to you moms is the best therapy for me right now. You all know my pain.

God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom

Gerrick\\\\\\\'s mom, Diane

IP: 64.12.116.12

May 8th, 2008 - 11:11 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Donna,

I am so sorry, I know how painful it is and thank you for your reply so soon after your Randy was taken, I am sorry. Just take it one minute at a time.

Bette,

I am glad you had blood work done, that is a start.
You're right about nothing helping, nothing does. Our pain is so deep and unbearable and will never go away. Our child was taken, murdered, and there is nothing worse than that.
I agree, the MOMS here understand, no one else does.

Take care,
Gerrick's mom, Diane

deb (dwaynesmum)

IP: 121.220.49.249

May 10th, 2008 - 4:49 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

mums i just want to say thankyou....without u all i dont no what i'd do ......

michelle (Brandon Fluet's mom)

IP: 205.188.116.12

May 11th, 2008 - 10:16 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Diane,
I just wanted to let you know that I am on several different types of medications to help with my PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I was like you when Brandon was first murdered, I didn't take any medications or even see any doctor's. then I had my first nervous break down while at work. there was a loud bang from behind me and my mind immediatly went back to the moment I heard the gun shot that killed my son. I litterally thought Brandon was there laying in the same pool of blood I had seen the night he was murdered. I spend almost a week in the psyciatric ward of the hospital and it was then that I was diagnosed with PTSD and put on medications for not only my depression and anxiety, but because I was there when my son was murdered and witnessed things no one let alone a mother should have to see. So I'm also on a medication that numbs the part of my brain that holds short term memory. That way the images sights and sounds of that horrific night. So while the medications in NO WAY take all the pain, depression, hurt and memories away. It has given me the ability to function some what normally. I would suggest that you do what your doctors advise. No amount of medication will ever take away our PTSD or pain and depression, but it does help us to heal.
all my love
michelle (Brandon Fluet's mom)

Gerrick\\\\\\\'s mom, Diane

IP: 64.12.116.12

May 11th, 2008 - 12:05 PM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

Brandons's mom,

Thanks so much for your input, I know exactly what those images are like, not too many people know just exactly how this can affect us for the long haul, again thanks and take care Michelle.

Gerrick's mom forever, Diane

Frances Alarcon Jr's mom

IP: 66.214.69.63

May 12th, 2008 - 12:21 AM

Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents?

I was diagnosied with Bi-polar disease since I was 32 I am now 51, I have been on imparime, prozac, lithium, paxil, zoloft, efexor, seroquel, and alot of others I can't remember all the names, and sometimes they do help and sometimes they don't since Jr's murder I have been on efexor and xanax, they don't take all the depression away it just helps me not to feel suscidal. I had 2 suscidal attempts when my children were young and I had a nervous breakdown when my kids were about 12 and 9, I had to fix myself and I did. Not to say drugs are bad or good but sometimes we just need a little bit of help to make it through the rough times,,,and now is a rough time for me and for some of you mom's, It doesn't mean your weak or crazy, it just means that you are human and you have been through this horrible thing and you need help....I know alot of people don't agree with meds but I personally have found it to help, only so I am not crying every moment of the day, I still have waves of depression but that is normal I have had my son murdered and taken away from me forever...So as far as antidepressents I say to each there own and if it helps go for it....make sure your dr. is aware of all your side effects and the way the med makes you feel, sometimes you have to try several ones before you find the one that works for you...
Frances Jr's mom

Author	Comment
Gerrick\\\\'s mom, Diane IP: 64.12.116.12 May 6, 08 - 6:06 PM	Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Please if someone, anyone, can share anything about anti-depressants I would appreciate it. For over 4 years I avoided these medications, and now the doctor really wants me to take them, Zoloft. I don't believe, and never will, a pill can change the way I feel. I don't believe it can take my profound longing for my son away, my depression, my anxiety, my PTSD or the stress I feel because I am so **** angry at the murderers that stole my child's life away from him and from me. This has made me literally sick, and I guess I have to do something. I know I heard some MOMS here talk about this over the last few years, and I hope someone will share. Thank you, Gerrick's mom forever
TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM IP: 69.153.221.50 May 6th, 2008 - 6:49 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? HELLO Diane I have took Zoloft in the past but it was before my son was murdered I believe that it did help me and it didn't make me feel are look crazy noone could tell I was taking it but I did change the way I was feeling I didn't cry anymore or feel so happy Like say something sad happend on Tv. or something I couldn't cry I didn't feel anything and at the time that I was taking Zoloft they gave me the pill because if I seen are hard about something bad happening to someone I would freak out and not let my kids go out side only let there friends come over to my house I did trust other and alway felt if someone hurts are kill one of my kids I just die and look at me what I tried to stop when they were small I couldn't even stop when they got older and now I can't even get anti-depressants I take 100 sleeping pills a weak. I just don't have the money and don't even go outside and I feel like about 60 years old and i'm only 39 years old. have only been outside about 6 times in a year in a half. I pray for us all and I wish we all could just wake up from this bad dream. If you need them Zoloft is good because the have some anti-depressants that make you feel real crazy. hope this help you .Thanks and I love you and all the other sister hear at MOMS TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS YOU,YOUR LOVE ONE'S. TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM R.I.P TO YOUR ANGEL Email: TERRYJOHNSON137@AOL.COM
Jimmy's Mom IP: 71.141.132.83 May 6th, 2008 - 7:15 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? I take sertraline it is generic for zoloft my doctor told me he wanted me to take this for one year. I take one every night it does help me relax so I can get to sleep I am up by 3:00 am to get ready for work and some mornings I can’t even sleep that late, but I don’t feel totally helpless anymore. I hope this helps you make a decision. God Bless Jimmy’s mom Shirley Email: shirleys52@sbcglobal.net
connie IP: 216.166.159.185 May 6th, 2008 - 9:28 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Diane, I take prozac! Not every day but every other day. I want to get of of it. It has its pros and cons. It helps me to cope with things but at the same time I think it stops all emotion, if you know what I mean. I don't cry all the time. I also take zanax at night so I can sleep, it is for anxiety. I was waking up in the middle of the night and would be pinching or hitting myself when I would dream about Justin's murderers. Thoughts & Prayers, Connie Email: conniemarchant@hotmail.com
Cindy Eller IP: 204.181.51.85 May 6th, 2008 - 9:34 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? I also take Zoloft and believe me it really has helped. I would break down at everything before I started taking it. Now I cry but I feel I am so much more in control. I tried going off of it but could not handle it because I would be grouchy to my family whenever I felt out of control. Remember one antidepressent does not fit everyone so do not give up if you do not feel any difference let your Dr. know so you can be put on something else. I really feel like any Mom who has been through what we have needs help just making it through the day. Do not be afraid to help yourself. Hope this helps. Cindy Monica's Mom Email: ellerbcj@skybest.com
Gerrick\\\\\'s mom, Diane IP: 64.12.116.12 May 6th, 2008 - 10:43 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Thank you ALL so very much, I appreciate it. I have been so against taking these medications, like Terry said some make you crazy, and I just don't know what to expect. I take xanax too Connie, I suffer from anxiety and it does help me sleep. I really am thankful for all your replys so quickly, Terry, Shirley, Connie and Cindy, thank you so much, I love you all. I hurt so much and miss my dear child so very much, my broken heart has affected my whole body and caused so many health problems and the doctor said I have to address these things before it's too late and he prescribed Zoloft. I knew I could count on my fellow MOMS, thank you again. Gerrick's mom, Diane
Beverly/honored to be leah's mom IP: 98.160.155.217 May 7th, 2008 - 1:47 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Please be careful what you do with anti depressants/anti anxiety drugs. They are extremely dangerous if you are not careful. I have much experience with them, and without them, and I can tell you, the pain is the same no matter what you take. Nothing in the world can help us other than having our child back, and no drug in the world will ever ever make that go away. I was taking meds since leah's attack, and went off all medication recently. The effects of going off these pills are horrendous, and can lead to death. I was sick for days and days, not able to even function, it was pathetic to say the least. To think that doctors give you medication that makes you so very ill when you go off is very un nerving. I was taking prozac, and xanax. Xanax makes your brain shrink. It causes permanent brain damage. I have taken zoloft, and had negative effects with it. I was able to taper off prozac, although had been on a few others that were not so fun to go off. The anti anxiety is horrible. Try very hard if you can to take large quantities of vitamin b, and go herbal if at all possible. There are good reasons for anti depressants, but honestly, in my opinion, ours is just a matter of life, and the horrible end of a loved ones, not a mental disorder. Sorry for rambling, hope I helped you. Email: Dessormeau@cox.net
Gerrick\\\\\\'s mom, Diane IP: 205.188.116.12 May 7th, 2008 - 11:08 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Leah's mom, you did help me as this is exactly why I refused to take these types of medications since my son was murdered even though I am very depressed and anxious. I always knew that the heartache and grief each one of us feel is unique and will never ever go away unless we have our child back, (like you said) I also developed other health problems since my Gerrick was murdered. I appreciate your response, and now don't know if I want to try them. Would you mind if I email you? Let me know, my email is longingformyson@aol.com. I figured if and when I did try them, I could always go off them, but a quick online search revealed seizures, suicide and a host of other serious conditions. I don't know what to do, but I do know there is never ever going to be ANYthing worse than what happened to my dear son Gerrick, oh how I long for him and miss him so. Thank you, Gerrick's mom, Diane
Donna (Randy\'s mom) IP: 12.159.240.162 May 7th, 2008 - 3:38 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Diane, I tried them and all they did was make me sick and sleep too much. One even caused my stomach to cramp up. I found that the more sleep I get every night, it makes it easier to "put on a happy face" for people at work. They tend to be more comfortable with me and it makes it easier to cope. Like everyone says, 1 day at a time. It's usually worse when I get tired or sick. It's only been 6 months since Randy's been gone. Email: donna.j.brown@chi.frb.org
Bette IP: 216.237.180.2 May 8th, 2008 - 10:42 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? I tried an antidepressant and it gave me headaches. I have been not feeling well for months now, i get bad headaches, I can't sleep, I do take xanex they do help me sleep. I tried to take ambien, but they realy made me whacked out. So I had to stop taking them. So I just take xanex for now, but was thinking tis morning maybe i should look into it as my health is getting worse. I just feel terrible, I lost a lot of weight, my body aches all the time, I cry all the time, but who wouldn't feel this way after what we've been thru???? How can anything or anyone help get rid of the broken hearts we all have? I pray and talk to my baby all the time, sometimes I can't even go to the memorial page (I just recently updated it and it took me a few months to do) I light his candles and read those who light candle for him and I cry and cry and cry and cry. My heart is broken and I don't think anything will ever fix it, so I keep thinking I've got try at least for my other boys, I finally went and had some blood work done today just to rule out anything. I sometimes think talking to you moms is the best therapy for me right now. You all know my pain. God Bless Bette Timmy's mom Email: baclark91@aol.com Website: http://timmy-clark.memory-of.com/
Gerrick\\\\\\\'s mom, Diane IP: 64.12.116.12 May 8th, 2008 - 11:11 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Donna, I am so sorry, I know how painful it is and thank you for your reply so soon after your Randy was taken, I am sorry. Just take it one minute at a time. Bette, I am glad you had blood work done, that is a start. You're right about nothing helping, nothing does. Our pain is so deep and unbearable and will never go away. Our child was taken, murdered, and there is nothing worse than that. I agree, the MOMS here understand, no one else does. Take care, Gerrick's mom, Diane
deb (dwaynesmum) IP: 121.220.49.249 May 10th, 2008 - 4:49 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? mums i just want to say thankyou....without u all i dont no what i'd do ...... Email: deboday@hotmail.com
michelle (Brandon Fluet's mom) IP: 205.188.116.12 May 11th, 2008 - 10:16 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Diane, I just wanted to let you know that I am on several different types of medications to help with my PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I was like you when Brandon was first murdered, I didn't take any medications or even see any doctor's. then I had my first nervous break down while at work. there was a loud bang from behind me and my mind immediatly went back to the moment I heard the gun shot that killed my son. I litterally thought Brandon was there laying in the same pool of blood I had seen the night he was murdered. I spend almost a week in the psyciatric ward of the hospital and it was then that I was diagnosed with PTSD and put on medications for not only my depression and anxiety, but because I was there when my son was murdered and witnessed things no one let alone a mother should have to see. So I'm also on a medication that numbs the part of my brain that holds short term memory. That way the images sights and sounds of that horrific night. So while the medications in NO WAY take all the pain, depression, hurt and memories away. It has given me the ability to function some what normally. I would suggest that you do what your doctors advise. No amount of medication will ever take away our PTSD or pain and depression, but it does help us to heal. all my love michelle (Brandon Fluet's mom) Email: brandonourhero@aol.com
Gerrick\\\\\\\'s mom, Diane IP: 64.12.116.12 May 11th, 2008 - 12:05 PM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? Brandons's mom, Thanks so much for your input, I know exactly what those images are like, not too many people know just exactly how this can affect us for the long haul, again thanks and take care Michelle. Gerrick's mom forever, Diane
Frances Alarcon Jr's mom IP: 66.214.69.63 May 12th, 2008 - 12:21 AM	Re: Does anyone know anything about/take anti-depressents? I was diagnosied with Bi-polar disease since I was 32 I am now 51, I have been on imparime, prozac, lithium, paxil, zoloft, efexor, seroquel, and alot of others I can't remember all the names, and sometimes they do help and sometimes they don't since Jr's murder I have been on efexor and xanax, they don't take all the depression away it just helps me not to feel suscidal. I had 2 suscidal attempts when my children were young and I had a nervous breakdown when my kids were about 12 and 9, I had to fix myself and I did. Not to say drugs are bad or good but sometimes we just need a little bit of help to make it through the rough times,,,and now is a rough time for me and for some of you mom's, It doesn't mean your weak or crazy, it just means that you are human and you have been through this horrible thing and you need help....I know alot of people don't agree with meds but I personally have found it to help, only so I am not crying every moment of the day, I still have waves of depression but that is normal I have had my son murdered and taken away from me forever...So as far as antidepressents I say to each there own and if it helps go for it....make sure your dr. is aware of all your side effects and the way the med makes you feel, sometimes you have to try several ones before you find the one that works for you... Frances Jr's mom Email: gammyfba@yahoo.com