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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 10) |
| Author | Comment |
Yvonne
 IP: 64.12.116.12 May 2, 08 - 5:03 AM |
I am nuts?
Moms, This is going to sound pretty crazy, but I am sure it is desperation. True desperation. Have any of you ever wished you could die, just for a minute or two, so you could go over to the other side and visit your child? The first year, I hoped and prayed for cancer, or something to take me permenantly. Now I suppose, I know I have to be here for my family,,especially my granddaughter that I am raising. I am afraid of something happening to me now, because I dont know what would happen to my granddaughter. If there was a "safe" way to cross over for a few minutes, I would do it in a heartbeat. Love, Yvonne (Josh Underwood's mom) |
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Darien Russell
IP: 4.88.118.183 May 2nd, 2008 - 10:37 AM |
Re: I am nuts?
I can't speak for anyone else but I also have felt like I wanted to die many times and then I feel guilty because Keara's children and my other children are here. This is so hard though and exhausting so I don't think you are nuts. I guess we just somehow learn to live with this and hope that in time it will get easier. If you ever want to talk by phone send me your # and I can call you. My email is darienrussell@earthlink.net. Love, Darien |
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Jackie ( Tommy\\'s Momma )
IP: 204.73.103.253 May 2nd, 2008 - 12:13 PM |
Re: I am nuts?
No! you are not. Last year I went in for surgery and while in recovery the nurse told me I scared her to death because after they sedated me on the table I told them I was going to see my son in heaven, she said the room got real quite for a moment, we all feel the strong desire to go and see our babies again even if just for a few moments. Love to all of you ....Jackie Tommy's Momma |
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Cindy Eller
IP: 204.181.51.85 May 2nd, 2008 - 1:55 PM |
Re: I am nuts?
Yvonne, I believe that every mom on this site has thought about wanting to die at least once. I know I have several times but knowing what it would do to my family hurts more. I have come to the realization that I need to be patient and wait for God to say when. I know I will hold my Daughter again and it will be in a beautiful place where we never have to hurt again. We all need to keep reminding ourselves of that. Prayers and Love Cindy Monica's Mom |
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Vickie /Andre's mom
IP: 12.218.101.23 May 2nd, 2008 - 3:03 PM |
Re: I am nuts?
I think it is only natural that we all have thought about joining our babies.They after all are in my oppion the main reason we are even here is to be there for them.I once had a woman ask me "who are you & said you can't say a wife or a mother" well I still can't answer that question.Because if I am not a wife and mother than I am no one and nothing.I could be ok without the wife part but I could NOT live without the mother part.I am only still here because I have 5 other children and some days I don't even know if I can go on even for them.But,I must I do.If you are nuts than count me in too. I to would take even one minute.You are not alone. |
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Donna (Randy's mom)
IP: 12.159.240.162 May 2nd, 2008 - 4:13 PM |
Re: I am nuts?
Wow. I just found this site and what do I find? Someone who is reading my mind - word for word. My son was 36 when a homeless guy killed him in October. It's only been 6 months, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about not taking my meds and letting myself just die. But I have 4 other kids (and Randy's 1 yr old - he didn't think he could have kids, the doctors told him he never would and now we have her and he's gone) and it's hard to justify to myself leaving them, it seems too selfish. I know they are all suffering too, but it's been too much and I'm like you, hanging on. I just want it to stop hurting so much. You hang in there! We are not alone. |
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remember me
IP: 75.142.202.31 May 2nd, 2008 - 7:42 PM |
Re: I am nuts?
I would love love love to spend time with my son, this side, that side, it doesn't matter to me, but we've got to stay here and finish out God's plan for us. For the first couple of years I prayed for my own death, at one point I began to plan my own death. I prayed and prayed for help, finally one day I just started feeling better, not great but a giant step up from where I was. Still though, life will never be like it was. My husband says he's just kind of waiting to die and I think that's in me too. Don't want to heap more hurt on my remaining children, but I'm not in the least afraid to go. |
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Jimmy's Mom
IP: 71.141.116.7 May 3rd, 2008 - 8:37 AM |
Re: I am nuts?
No you are not nuts and you are not alone my son was murdered December 16th 07 and there are still times when I wish I was dead just so I could be with him. But I too know how that would hurt my family, Jimmy's little girl just turned 7 she needs her grandma. But I am no longer afraid to die when my time comes I will embrace it because I know I will be with my Jimmy. Mom2Mom Stay Strong |
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Gerrick\\\'s mom, Diane
IP: 64.12.116.12 May 3rd, 2008 - 12:41 PM |
Re: I am nuts?
Yvonne, Yes, I have always felt this way and still do at times. Since I found out about serious health problems I have, I know I will see my son again and be with him forevermore when I die. At the same time, all I think about is I am supposed to die FIRST, that is the way it should be. |
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Yvonne (Josh Underwood's mom)
IP: 205.188.116.12 May 11th, 2008 - 7:43 AM |
Re: I am nuts?
Moms, I think that is it. We have to be here for our family. Also, I dont want to let my son down.He knew that I would always take care of things.I dont want to hurt him.You know what? I dont think there is anything wrong with honoring our child by staying alive and being as happy as we can be for our time left on this planet. Love, Yvonne |
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