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Bette
 IP: 216.237.180.2 Apr 28, 08 - 1:28 PM |
Why is this month so hard?
April has been terrible on me. I feel terrible, I'm always feeling sick, or have a headache, or coughing, or stiff all over, I just feel terrible, there were so many killings in Phila. this weekend, 5 more people died in one night. What is going on on this earth????? My oldest is really having bad time, I don't know how to comfort him with words, my heart hurts so bad, and I read all your messages and I hurt for all you moms who are going thru this pain. I wish I could hug each and everyone of you, I wish I knew words to say to take the pain away, I just wish I could change everything for all of us. I ask God why all the time, why did this happen, who did this, why, why why, I'm sick of hearing myself, I'm know I'll never feel the same and it's not fair that this person(s) ruined everyone's life, and those evil people who did it to your family, what's wrong with this world????? i'm sorry, I just am such a state, I go to Timmy's memorial and see all the pretty candle messages and I just cry and I have to get off because everytime I go there I cry and cry. Sometimes I can reply to anyone's posts because I feel like I'm not helping anyone, I feel so inadequate for my family, I'm beating myself up and my body is falling apart, because I just sit there and sometimes i just sit and stare and my one son always catches me and he'll ask you ok??? and I'll say yeah, I'm ok, when I'm not and he knows I'm not, and I'll tell him about his other brother who I just don't know how to help and it's not fair to him, to see me fall apart and hear me go on about his oldest brother, he lost his baby brother too! I just am such a mess. So sorry, just needed to vent on some shoulders who understand. Bette Timmy's Mom |
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Gerrick\\'s mom, Diane
IP: 205.188.116.12 Apr 28th, 2008 - 4:49 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
Dear Bette, I feel your pain, your every word is laced with what I have felt and consistently feel, and I am so very sorry you are going through this. I also feel so bad for your other son who had to see his brother Timmy murdered like he was, oh... I am at a loss for words. What our children went through is just so very horrible and it affects us like no one else can understand but us. You keep fighting for your Timmy, never give up. I hope they find the mother ****er who took your child. I saw Timmy on AMW website, so sad. I wish I knew how to comfort you, and think it is kind of you to want to comfort everyone else, all I can say is take it one minute at a time. Try to eat good, sleep enough, when you can. I know it is easier said than done, I still have nightmares. Much love to your young angel Timmy and you Bette. Gerrick's mom, Diane |
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Bette
IP: 216.237.180.2 Apr 29th, 2008 - 2:01 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
Thank you Diane, I known there are no words, just pain, sigh..... and prayers. I always try and keep the prayers going, last night I asked God to Bless all the moms who are in pain from losing their child to such violence and asked why? Why do we suffer? God Bless Bette Timmy's mom |
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Angie-Eugene's Mom
IP: 70.162.67.202 Apr 29th, 2008 - 2:22 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
Hi Bette, I don't even know what to say to you to make you feel better, because I am feeling the same way.All that I can say is that my heart and prayers are with you always. I pray to God evey night that he brings some comfort and peace to all the grieving moms on this site.There has been alot of killings here in Phoenix, AZ too. Everyday somebody has been killed by violence or car accident. Road rage is the biggest thing going here right now. Sunday night a college football player was gunned down in front of his home. When I saw this on t.v. I just felt so much pain for the family and a couple of tears streamed down my face. It is so heartbreaking knowing that another family is been touched by such tragedy. I will keep praying for you Bette. I see Timmys picture and I know why you miss him so much. Take care and God Bless You. |
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Cindy Eller
IP: 204.181.51.85 Apr 29th, 2008 - 3:35 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
Bette, All I can do is offer you love and prayers and let you know how deeply sorry I am that Timmy was taken from you. Please know we are here. We WILL pray for justice. Much Love and Many Prayers Cindy Monica's Mom |
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Vickie /Andre's mom
IP: 12.218.101.23 Apr 29th, 2008 - 9:25 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
Bette,I know exactly how you feel.I am having the same aches and pains.Can't sleep,all of that.I feel so bad for you,for all of us.I guess all we can do is try to be her for each other and pray,pray and,pray!May you find ever just a moment of peace! |
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Jimmy's Mom
IP: 71.141.110.178 Apr 29th, 2008 - 10:14 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
All I know for sure is that we have to stay strong for our children. I know they wouldn't want us to fall apart (eaiser said than done). I wish we could all have one day just one of peace and happyness one day when the pain was gone, one night of restfull sleep. Love to all of you You hang in Bette I pray your son's murderer is found very soon. That goes for all of those who do not know who murdered their children.My thoughts and prayers are with all the mothers and families of murdered children every where Jimmy's Mom |
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Bette
IP: 216.237.180.2 Apr 30th, 2008 - 9:34 AM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
Thank you all you wonderful moms, all your replies brought tears to my eyes, you all going thru pain and find a way to come and post to my post and send me prayers, what wonderful people you all are, and I too will always pray for you all. Every night, I ask God to give each mom who goes thru what I do some comfort. God Bless you guys and thank you for all your prayers and candles you light for my baby, it means a lot to me. He was a wonderful kid, and I miss his terribly. My heart aches all the time as you all know the pain, it can be unbearable. Luv Bette Timmy's Mom |
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deb (dwaynesmum)
IP: 121.220.49.249 May 1st, 2008 - 7:42 PM |
Re: Why is this month so hard?
dear bette,what can i say,i too no exactly what yr feeling,on the 28th of this month it will be 1 year since dwayne was murdered,i cant believe it.im in denial still,i must be im still numb,i truly cant believe he is gone,i think if i allow myself to believe it i will explode,i dont know how to explain it,but i know that u know what i mean,without all u mothers on this site i would be in an mental asylum by now.bette stay as strong as u can for the other boys,yr oldest one is acting out because thats the only way he knows how to deal with the loss of his brother,everyone deals with it differently,my youngest daughter goes through stages of anger were she hates being alive then she hates me,then she loves me with all her heart.it is so hard for all the family,i hate these *******s for doing this to all our families.always know that u are in my heart and i think of all of u every day.lots of love to u and yrs love from deb (dwaynesmum) xoxoxoxo |
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