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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 7) |
| Author | Comment |
michelle (Brandon Fluet's mom)
IP: 64.12.116.12 Mar 25, 08 - 9:48 AM |
IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
When...When....When will this pain, hurt, anger, guilt and so many other emotions that haunt me everyday ever get easier??? I miss Brandon so much that it just aches in every part of my heart, my soul, and my body. I hate myself for failing Brandon and I wish to God he hadn't felt my life was more important than his own, because it wasn't, isn't, and never will be. I try so hard to honor the sacrifice he made for me, but I just don't feel worthy of it. How can I ever forgive myself for my son's life being taken from me. On this Easter I pray our Lord would just end my suffering and come back once again to save his children, bring us all home to paradise so we can once again be a whole and complete family. |
Cindy Eller
IP: 204.181.51.85 Mar 25th, 2008 - 12:09 PM |
Re: IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
Michelle, You know in your heart that it was Brandon's choice to save the Mother he loved so much and yes we understand as Mother's how you would feel guilty but that does not mean there is anything you need to feel guilty for. All of us would trade our lives for our children's and you have something that is rare a child who saved his mom. I cannot say I know your pain but from what I understand the intense love Brandon had for you is why he made the decision he made. Honor Brandon by taking this gift he gave you and work in his name if we just help 1 person we make a difference in our child's name. I spoke oput wrote letters and did whatever I could after my daughter's murder and the one time I felt like I did something was when a strange woman came up to me and said she read my letter that was put in the paper and it made her realize that she needed to leave the abusive relationship she was in before she ended up like my daughter she thanked me and went on. I saved 1 mother from joining us on this wesite and I did it ALL in my daughter's name. Prayers that you will feel Brandon's arms encircle you and help you to find comfort. Love and Prayers Cindy Monica's Mom |
TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM
IP: 69.153.221.50 Mar 25th, 2008 - 8:40 PM |
Re: IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
MY SISTER MICHELLE I FEEL ALL THE THINGS YOU FEEL,I KNOW YOUR PAIN, REALLY WISH I COULD HELP TAKE THE PAIN AWAY FROM ALL THE MOMS ON THIS SITE BUT I KNOWI877666666666554RRRR THAT YOUR SON LOVES YOU AND HE KNOWS THAT IF YOU COULD CHANGE WITH HAPPEND YOU WOULD AND HE ALSO KNOWS YOU WOULD GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR HIM. I KNOW MY SON LOVED ME SO VERY MUCH,I LOVED HIM EVEN MORE AND I WISH I COULD TELL YOU WHEN WHEN THIS PAIN ,GUILT,HURT,ANGER WILL GO AWAY BUT I DON'T THINK IT WILL BUT I DO THINK THAT GOD WILL HELP US AND I PRAY THAT HE WILL SOON HELP ALL OF US, I WILL KEEP YOU AND ALL THE OTHER MOMS IN MY PRAYERS. I AM NOT THAT GOOD WITH WORDS BUT I TRY AND I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WITH I AM SAYING. I LOVE YOU MY SISTERUUU'U[YULYOLHLYLUYU; P7 7[7[6--6[P7][[P7YPU7PP7P7P7P7P7 |
TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM
IP: 69.153.221.50 Mar 25th, 2008 - 8:56 PM |
Re: IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
MY SISTER MICHELLE I FEEL ALL THE THINGS YOU FEEL,I KNOW YOUR PAIN, REALLY WISH I COULD HELP TAKE THE PAIN AWAY FROM ALL THE MOMS ON THIS SITE BUT I KNOWI877666666666554RRRR THAT YOUR SON LOVES YOU AND HE KNOWS THAT IF YOU COULD CHANGE WITH HAPPEND YOU WOULD AND HE ALSO KNOWS YOU WOULD GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR HIM. I KNOW MY SON LOVED ME SO VERY MUCH,I LOVED HIM EVEN MORE AND I WISH I COULD TELL YOU WHEN WHEN THIS PAIN ,GUILT,HURT,ANGER WILL GO AWAY BUT I DON'T THINK IT WILL BUT I DO THINK THAT GOD WILL HELP US AND I PRAY THAT HE WILL SOON HELP ALL OF US, I WILL KEEP YOU AND ALL THE OTHER MOMS IN MY PRAYERS. I AM NOT THAT GOOD WITH WORDS BUT I TRY AND I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WITH I AM SAYING. I LOVE YOU MY SISTER TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM |
Frances,,,Jr's mom
IP: 66.214.69.63 Mar 26th, 2008 - 2:30 PM |
Re: IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
Michelle does it get easier, I would really like to know, I feel so much pain, guilt, and all the emotions that you are talking about, my heart actually aches with every breath that I take, I miss that boy so much,,, I pray it gets easier for you and all of us that have had our hearts broken by the loss of our children. God I hope it does get easier, I don't know when it has been 13 months since Jr's death and it is still not easier, I woke the other morning crying in my sleep for my boy...I can only imagine, please God let it get easier... Hugs and prayers Frances Jr's mom |
Bette
IP: 216.237.180.2 Mar 26th, 2008 - 3:45 PM |
Re: IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
I always ask does this pain ever go away, and I doubt that it ever does, I think one learns to live with it. I have days that I haven't cried, not many, but a few, but I think of him every single second of the day, not a day goes by. I am in so much anguish, a piece of my heart has been ripped out of me and I don't think that pain will ever go away. We are all together because of someone thinks they have the righ to murder someone, I know I am not alone and I have moms here who understand what I say. Just hang in there, cry as much as you want, whenever, wherever, you have the right to. God Bless Bette Timmy's mom |
deb (dwaynesmum)
IP: 121.220.49.249 Mar 27th, 2008 - 12:24 AM |
Re: IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER
Dear Michelle,i dont think the pain will ever go away,we have just been through the sentencing of the animal that took my sons life,he was sentenced to 3 yrs jail,can u believe that,3 yrs for taking my sons life.The pain is overwhelming i dont think it will ever get any better than this.I think our lives are just this from now on,the guilt u feel i dont think will ever go away,i know exactly what yr feeling,if only u didnt bring this animal into yr lives, Brandon would still be alive,BUT U WERE NOT TO NO!of course if u had any idea that this guy could have hurt yr kids u would never have had him any where near them,remember Brandon knows this,he would'nt want u to blame yrself.please stay strong and give yr self a break IT WAS NOT YR FAULT,but as for it getting easier i dont think so i really dont.lots of love Deb (dwaynes mum) xo0xox |
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