WELCOME TO MOMS MESSAGEBOARD
|
||
| Return to Website | ||
 First |
 Prev |
 Reply |
 Forum |
Next  |
Last  |
| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 7) |
| Author | Comment |
Kayt Fossler
 IP: 216.134.249.67 Mar 13, 08 - 10:19 AM |
Just wanted to share
I wanted to share this paragraph with all of you, for I know we have all felt like this before. I did not write it but I could have for speaks what all of us who have lost our children feel. You feel you want to die: So did I for a long time. So did every bereaved mother I have ever spoken to. No matter how much you love your husband and your surviving children, you become totally obsessed with the child you lost. It's as if your entire identity and future is bound up with his. All you want to do is be with your child. He is all you think about most of the time. Feelings of wanting to die will slowly get less if you just have courage to live five minutes by five minutes. I realised that if I killed myself it would negate all that my child and our family stood for, it would make it impossible to continue his legacy and be brave like he was. So I tried. Every day I tried and I am still here. Oh no truer words were spoken. Wes's rebirth date is coming up in May. It will be six years since he left us, in body, not spirit. I have been busy working in the memorial garden I am growing for him. This is where I feel closest to him, where we have our private conversations, where I allow myself some peace and tears. I am no longer living five mins to five mins but day to day. Kayt, Wes Matheson's mom |
|
Darien Russell, Keara\\'s Mom
IP: 4.88.118.254 Mar 13th, 2008 - 1:58 PM |
Re: Just wanted to share
Hi Kayt, Thanks for sharing. I am still living 5 minutes at a time and sometimes day to day. April 5th is the anniversary date of Keara's death and I find myself sinking into that black hole again. I am crying and crying. It is good to hear from you and other mothers that the pain won't be as raw over time. I hope so because what I'm doing now is so painful.A lot of the time I still feel like I just want to die. I went to a job interview the other day and was called back for a second interview and decideed against it. I st6ill don't feel physically or mentally ready to work full time. I just want to thank you for being there for me and helping me get through this. Love, Darien |
|
remember me
IP: 75.142.202.31 Mar 14th, 2008 - 1:24 PM |
Re: Just wanted to share
Oh how I understand that paragraph. That is exactly have I've felt. My son, Mark, was shot April 3, 2005. I spent months fighting suidal thoughts, I even started creating a plan to do it! Then I saw my doc and started meds, only took a short time to feel better. But I definately understand feeling like that, wanting to be with my child, thinking he's all alone and confused and scared. Mark is in the arms of God and being cared for and comforted by Him now, as are all of our children. I just miss him so much. |
|
TERRYJOHNSON
IP: 69.153.221.50 Mar 14th, 2008 - 1:28 PM |
Re: Just wanted to share
Hey my sister Kayt Thanks for sharing this post. When i was reading this it felt like i was saying evry last words. GOD BLESS YOU MY SISTER ,I LOVE YOU!! TELL YOUR FAMILY HELLO, I'M SENDING YOU A BIG HUGE LOVE TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM |
|
Eric\'s Ma Onna
IP: 24.7.84.111 Mar 14th, 2008 - 11:20 PM |
Re: Just wanted to share
Thank you Kayt so much. |
|
Frances, Jr's mom
IP: 66.214.69.63 Mar 15th, 2008 - 9:09 AM |
Re: Just wanted to share
Kayt, thank you so much for that paragraph, I too feel so obsessed with wanting to be with him, I actually want to know what he was doing every second before he was murdered, we even called the young man that drove my son there, and talked to him for about 1 hour on the phone just wanting to know "was Jr mad, was he in a good mood, was he joking around like he always was?" Even knowing just doesn't help. You do feel like leaving, and you are right when you say it wouldn't be fair to his memory to just lay down and quit. So I fight with every minute of the day. Again thank you for your kind and inspirational words. Prayers and love |
|
jackie Tommy\'s momma
IP: 204.73.103.253 Mar 15th, 2008 - 11:02 AM |
Re: Just wanted to share
Thank You Kayt,the words speak my heart. Your a wonderful mom,and Wes's garden must be getting more beautiful with each season, I too have learned to live day to day, God is merciful, so I know Wes is in good hands and with loving friends, my Love to and Wes..Jackie Tommy's momma |
| First |
Prev |
Reply |
Forum |
Next |
Last |
bravenet.com