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Lorre
 IP: 207.200.116.70 Feb 3, 08 - 8:10 PM |
The Journal
Hello beloved girls and MOMS I haven't yet met! A quick note about me: my Mom, Dad, 17 year old son and his 17 year old fiance were murdered on March 8, 2001 in my parents home. We're going on 7 years and the defendant (I don't use his name because I don't want it to even be in the universe!) is playing "incompetent" with the justice system. Translation: they haven't and can't get him into a courtroom regarding the homicides because of his alleged mental state, so he is more often than not in a "restorative" facility. I'm heartsick to say that his quality of life has actually improved since slaughtering my family, and if you're reading this on this site, well, you know what it has done to my quality of life. So that's my basic story. Next, regarding the journal...girls, I NEVER got it. Robin said that she would send it to me around December and I have yet to see it. I was thinking that maybe she sent it to Debbie W.? I know Robin was having health issues at the time and maybe it's still with her. We (you and me) made a deal to copy it and I would have taken action on that. So, I don't have it and am still waiting. But, hey, creative way to "smoke me out" ha, ha! You're so funny Karen! I love your sense of humor. As for me, I have been having issues. First I'll start by saying that I love my daughter dearly and were it not for her, I would really have found little reason to continue on (other than I have a serious desire to go to Heaven and would not want to play God) Now, about my daughter...she's pre-pubescent. My son, God bless him, was the easiest child to raise- honestly. He was very non-dramatic and a really old soul. I just adored every moment with him, and even when he got into trouble we could find humor in things. He had a lovely wit and was so endearing. My time with him just wasn't long wnough at all and I will yearn for him forever. My daughter, whom I also adore, is bordering on the Taming of the Shrew. Her bi-polar/ premenstral behavior (that I'm told is totally normal) actually sends me into deep depressions. I don't know if it's the guilt I have for not being more psychologically and emotionally present for her (when she was 3 plus) after the homicides or what. I can't say "be nice to Mommy, she's had a rough life", because she should not have to take care of me. I try to stay positive but it's so hard for ME to stay stable that I think any jarring at home, let alone extreme jarring just sends me over the edge. So, with all of my eggs in the air there are now more. Urg! The only good thing that has happened since I last posted is that my faith in God is deepening and I really love that. I think that God is amazing and marvel at His glory...even in this world that sucks and where evil is everywhere. I've heard that Satan doesn't bother with you if you have no love for or a relationship with God. So, I figure that I must be loved---alot! Time here is short, I know that, so I cherish the good. Anway, if any one has any knowledge of where the journal is, please let me know!!! I love you old and new, and I pray for healing for your broken hearts every day. Love, Lorre PS~ contemporary Christian music ministers to me a great deal...here are the lyrics of the latest of my favorites: I Will Lift My Eyes Written by Bebo Norman and Jason Ingram God, my God, I cry out Your beloved needs You now God, be near, calm my fear And take my doubt Your kindness is what pulls me up Your love is all that draws me in I will lift my eyes to the Maker Of the mountains I can’t climb I will lift my eyes to the Calmer Of the oceans raging wild I will lift my eyes to the Healer Of the hurt I hold inside I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You God, my God, let Mercy sing Her melody over me God, right here all I bring Is all of me ‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever The Lover I need to save me ‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God So hold me now I will lift my eyes to the Maker Of the mountains I can’t climb I will lift my eyes to the Calmer Of the oceans raging wild I will lift my eyes to the Healer Of the hurt I hold inside I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You God, my God, I cry out Your beloved needs You |
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Kayt Fossler
IP: 216.134.249.67 Feb 5th, 2008 - 2:13 PM |
Re: The Journal
I love you Lorre, hang in there! kayt |
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Debbie W
IP: 64.132.150.98 Feb 6th, 2008 - 11:49 AM |
Re: The Journal
Ladies just so you will know I do not have the Journal. I will try to contact Robin and see if I can help in any way. Lorre if was good to hear from you I know the terrible pain you are going through and I want you to know that I think of you often and you are always in my prayers. |
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jackie Tommy's momma
IP: 204.73.103.253 Feb 6th, 2008 - 8:04 PM |
Re: The Journal
Lorre It it is Good to hear from you and know your still fighting that good fight, I'll be getting that song asap Thank You for sharing. Love to you, Jackie |
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Karen Wes's mom
IP: 75.162.106.195 Feb 9th, 2008 - 12:07 PM |
Re: The Journal
Oh Lorre! So glad you could make it!! My heart aches for you. Just when you think life could not possibly get harder... Our state of minds and overwhelming situations can really make us see how much we can take, with out going over the edge. You know the line about God wouldn't give you any more than you can handle? It's not true, it's a trick, I say it is a trick because I heard that the more you complain the longer God makes you live. Perhaps that is why so many wise people say to turn it over to God. What? And relieve myself of all this sorrow? No way. I have dishes to do. Most important, it is my job to worry. I know it helps because I'm so good at it. I wouldn't waste my time on useless thoughts! I need to misdirect my energy so I can stay in bed. Lorre you are the strong one. Even at your very weakest when your about to loose your mind, you have more strength then I can even imagine. I'm not alone when I say how much we moms admire you. Your insight, comments and advise are valuable to us. You have been dearly missed. (I knew I could smoke you out) ha ha I was one of those 13 year olds that tried to see how much my mom could take. When I was 15 I would scream at her that when I was 16 (and could drive) I was moving out! When 16 rolled around I was a tiny bit wiser and begging to stay. Many times she wished upon me to have a daughter like myself. Both pregnancies I worried and wanted boys. This Feb 23rd she will have been dead 30 years. Right now I'm 10 years older than her. It took a while for me to wise up and for her to lighten up. Eventually we got close and enjoyed each other. Tuesday night was our favorite TV night, we'd watch Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley and have pop corn and Pepsi for dinner. Us moms carry guilt, bury guilt, no matter the cause, (even as a daughter) it's another obstacle, and hey, I could always use a few more in my path! Where ever it is I'm trying to go. I have nothing better to do any way. Maybe I should try skipping. The train at the end of the tunnel is really a light. Much love my sister mom! Glad you popped in with an update! Karen Wes's mom We'll find the journal... if I have to go knocking on doors, we'll find it. |
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Gerrick\'s mom, Diane
IP: 205.188.116.12 Feb 19th, 2008 - 12:06 PM |
Re: The Journal
I have been emailing people about the journal for awhile now and no one has responded. I knew I wasen't the only one asking. What is the motive behind keeping it's whereabouts a secret? What's up? Every word of my entry is very important to me, as well as all the pictures I added of my Gerrick. It is only common courtesy to let all of us know what's going on. |
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Beverly A Ribaudo
IP: 96.240.43.86 Feb 19th, 2008 - 7:00 PM |
Re: The Journal
Debbie, I believe Robin had it after me. I emailed you when The Journal left Victorville. |
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MICHELLE BROWN
IP: 70.132.142.83 Feb 19th, 2008 - 7:21 PM |
Re: The Journal
lorre i miss you alot,hang in there,it's been rough for me also,but god will see us through,love,hug's and kisses!tony-mom-michelle! |
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