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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 12) |
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Alfreda L Garner BJ MOM
 IP: 76.171.228.122 Jan 24, 08 - 10:24 PM |
HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
DEAR MOM THIS IS WILLIAM COURSE AKA BJ MOM, FOR THE LAST WEEK I HAVE BEEN SEEING MY CHILD IN MY SLEEP,I JUST WANT TO KNOWI TF THIS IS A SIGN FROM HIM OR IS IT JUST ME MISSING HIM, WHEN HE WAS FIRST KILLED , THE NEXT NIGHT WHEN I FINNALY GOT TO SLEEP, I HAD A DREAM THAT HE WAS AT THE AIRPORT GETTING ON A FLIGHT I TOLD HIM NOT TO GO AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE COULD NOT STAY, WHEN THEY OPEN THE DOORS TO THE PLANE HE WALKED IN AND HE DISAPEAREAD, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. SO AT THAT TIME I JUST KNEW HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO HEAVEN WAS THAT A SIGN TO SAY THEY HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT AND THAT HE WAS NOT WANTING TO STAY ON EARTH,YOU KNOW THEY SAY THAT GOD TAKES THE BEST FLOWERS FOR HIS OWN GARDEN, COULD SOMEWAY PLEASE HE ME UNDERSTAND |
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Vickie Springer
IP: 12.218.106.240 Jan 24th, 2008 - 11:32 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
How blessed you are to be seeing your son in your dreams.Since my son Andre' was murdered I know my son has visited my dreams yet when I wake up I can not remember the dreams I only know he was there and I have such an aching in my heart.I believe your son is visiting you in you dreams to let you know he is o.k. don't think of them as bad dreams although they my leave you sad think of them as time spent with your son!May the LORD bless you and keep you may angels in camp around you as you sleep! |
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Jan Williams
IP: 192.160.216.52 Jan 25th, 2008 - 5:09 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
I have dreamed about one or all of my boys every night since the day they were killed. I'd be trying to find them, or trying to stop my daughter-in-law from killing them, or trying to protect one or the other from harm. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep because of the fear of nightmares. I took sleeping pills for about a month because sleep deprevation was making the depression worse. I have found now, that if I leave the tv on, somehow what I hear enters my dream and they are less distressing. I don't know if that will help anyone else, but you can give it a try. |
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Beverly D. Leah\\'s mom
IP: 98.160.159.109 Jan 26th, 2008 - 1:47 AM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
I too cannot sleep without the tv on, or being heavily medicated. Watching a mindless tv program while laying in bed lulls me to sleep. |
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Bette
IP: 205.188.116.12 Jan 27th, 2008 - 8:40 AM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
I also take meds to help me sleep, not because of bad dreams it's because I just lay there thinking all of it over & over in my head and cry and cry. I had one dream I can remember, we were at the dr.'s office, he was sick a lot before he was killed, and he didn't speak to me, but he was standing right next to me like he always did trying to be patient LOL, then the nurse said I had a $55 deductible and I siad I never pay a deductible, and in my head I thought oh I wonder if he still has insurance now that he is gone, then I look over and he was speaking to one of his favorite dr's. who is very tall and the dr. was sort of leaning over and they were talking but I could not hear what they were saying. I know there were once or twice I woke up thinking I dreamt of him yet could not remember. I ask him every night to come to me in my dreams, just to see his face or hear him talk, yet I don't. So many others in my family have. My oldest had one that they were in my neighbors yard and he said what are you doing here Tim you're dead and he smiled and laughed and said "no I'm not". I always wish to see him in my dreams always. I feel he is saying to you it's ok, and cherish them. Bette Timmy's mom |
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Karen Wes's mom
IP: 75.162.199.24 Jan 27th, 2008 - 2:01 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
BJ's Mom, Shortly after my son Wesley was murdered I drempt that he told me all he needed was a kidney transplant. The next thing I knew my boyfriend was shaking me awake because I was screaming. The television was on and it was an episode about organ transplants. I knew that what I was hearing while asleep had mixed into my dream, the denial part of my grief was, I believe, the driving source behind my horror of thinking "if only he'd of had a transplant...." I too wake up sometimes knowing he was with me in my dreams but cannot remember anything. I know that I have had a visitation from Wesley. This time, in my dream, I had known in my mind while hugging him that he was dead. I was overjoyed and kissing him all over his face. I felt him, I was really hugging him. I felt the stiffness of his hair gel in my hands and against my face. He felt solid, my arms were really hugging him, he was beaming inside and hugging me back. I kept telling him "Michael can't see you", "Michael can't see you". As dreams often do, it then jumped to the 3 of us laying on the floor, like we use to do in front of the television with Michael on one side of me and Wes on the other. My dream jumped around and back and forth from the boys being toddlers and their actual "real time" age. Wes was 21 when he was murdered. The most amazing thing was that I knew in my dream that he was dead but at the same time I was overjoyed at being able to touch him. This was real. I know it. There was nothing unclear about it. It felt (and still feels) as vivid and solid as me typing at my computer right now. My younger son Michael (Wes's little brother) had been having dreams about Wes at the time that were bothering him....he said he'd see Wes in his dream and that Wes would not speak to him. I think this was Michael's way of working through his grief and comming to the understanding that they were in different "worlds" now. When I had had the dream visitation from Wes I had been napping on the couch after taking my boyfriend to work. Someone knocking on the door was what woke me up. I answered the door, it was my girlfriend and her daughter, after sitting down and starting casual conversation the dream came pouring into my mind and her voice was background noise as I recalled it in a way like it was being played out for me. I interrupted her and, with goosebumps all over my body told her about it, not leaving out any details. After she left I wrote it all down. I'm so glad that I wrote it down because some of the minor details were, (I didn't realize at the time) major signs giving me validation that it was real. If I never have another dream/visitation like this one ever again, it will be ok with me because this one fulfilled something my brain needed. However, I would love to be able to tap into that reality that I believe my son now is in and be with him again while I'm still a living being. My love for him goes as deep as the pain of loosing him to murder. I had horrible dreams (last July) that I myself was about to be murdered as his death date (19th) was approaching. 2004, the 3 year mark painfully went by. My boyfriend had to shake me awake from my screams, he couldn't go back to sleep I had scared him so bad. In the morning he told me that he wouldn't be surprised if the neighboors heard me. Our dreams hold so much of what is going on within ourselves as we process through our journey of life without our child. I believe that our dreams are also a window for them to come through and that the love between us is the traveling path. I like to think I'm a professional sleeper, I know if there ever was a contest that I'd win. Any thing I can learn from my dreams good or bad, loving or fearful, are mile markers for my development, moving through grief or being stuck in it, and, most important they are my link with/to my murdered son. I hope this helps you, there is so much that I still don't understand. I fear living a long life in order to figure it all out. Karen Wes's mom |
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Angie-Eugene's Mom
IP: 70.190.217.121 Jan 27th, 2008 - 7:50 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
Hi MOMS, I thought I was the only one. I too dream about my son but I don't remember the dream when I wake up. And I also have to sleep with the t.v. on. If I don't take sleeping pills to help me sleep then I don't sleep very much. I have a hard time falling asleep and I will sleep for maybe an hour or so then wake up. And that is the way it is all night. I don't want to get to dependent on the pills.I do talk to my son alot at night . And I pray for him too. I hope he hears me. I miss him so much. My heart aches so bad. I don't think we will never understand. It is just too hard. Take care and God Bless You. |
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Frances Alarcon
IP: 66.214.69.63 Feb 5th, 2008 - 2:07 AM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
I haven't dreamed of my son not once. Other family members have and they make sure and tell me about them. My grief counselor said that she felt that the people telling me of the dreams are just being cruel because I don't dream of him and they do. I also can't go to sleep without the tv on. Or taking medications, I still see the autopsy pictures or the pictures of the crime scene in my head over and over like a video, or I see the video that they showed in the court room over and over. Or I feel like he must have been so scared. I wish I could see him in my dreams. I feel really happy for those of you who do see your child. I think this is there way of telling you that they are okay. |
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Kayt Fossler
IP: 216.134.249.67 Feb 5th, 2008 - 2:09 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
I don't dream of Wes, if I do I don't remember it but he has come to me through friends. I am so glad they tell me when he visits them and leaves a message to convey to me. I have become use to getting calls from two women, one who was a dear friend of mine from years ago and the other one was Wes's mother of the heart. I know it's Wes by the messages and I am forever greatful that he uses them to tell me he's okay. Wes, has come to my friend's aid on several occasions and she has gotten quite use to him popping up over her left shoulder. He is there as he was here, kind loving and forever helpful. I will always miss my buddy but he has gotten it through to me that he is happy and wants me to be happy, for him. The fact that he was murdered will always weigh heavy on my mind for how do any of us justify someone stealing our children for us. My heart goes out to all of the moms who are new to this horrible journey, it is gut wrenching to say the least! My prayers and condolences go out to you all Kayt, Wes Matheson's mom |
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Jan Williams
IP: 192.160.216.52 Feb 11th, 2008 - 4:45 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
Had a dream last night that one of my grandsons came and crawled into bed with me. I told him that I had missed him and he snuggled up next to me. Jan Neal's mom Devon's and Ian's Oma |
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joann hubert mom
IP: 69.31.155.253 Feb 11th, 2008 - 8:02 PM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
yes i to dream of my son two times the day he was murdered an when he useto peep in my room an smile at me ,i miss that smile.he allways made me laught.some times i leave the tv on but most of the times i will .just turn it off an talk to god.or to hear something in my room at nite my son use to come in an get his father haircutters at nite. i use to take sleeping pills i stop did not wanted to get hook on them.my prayers are with you all. |
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Cindy Eller
IP: 204.181.51.85 Feb 12th, 2008 - 3:00 AM |
Re: HAVING REALLY BAD DREAMS
Alfreda, I have not had dreams about my daughter but before she was murdered I was dusting in my den when all of a sudden before my eyes I saw my daughter being gunned down the man who claimed he loved her stood over her and shot her and her precious children. Exactly 10 days later she was dead and according to police reports that is what happened except police arrived as he had the gun pointed at his son so he had to shoot himself or face the police. Since then I have been blessed to be given signs from my daughter and each sign gives me strength. May your dreams of your beloved BJ bring you the peace and hope that you deserve that your child is with you ALWAYS. love to you Monica's Mom Cindy |
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