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Bette
 IP: 216.237.180.2 Nov 12, 07 - 10:32 AM |
tomorrow
will be 4 months. It's just totally unbelievable. I still can't believe I'm standing, working, doing wash, all that stuff that seems like nothing. It's hard, so hard. Went thru some things with my oldest, prayers please for him too, but he is having hard time. My life is up and down. I asked my therapist why haven't I cried in 2 weeks, my heart is broken and I talk to Timmy every night I sing him "Silent Night" cause when he was a baby that would put him to sleep, even when hegot older he used to say to me remember how you alwasy sang Silent Night even during the summer LOL, he'd laugh. I sing to him every night and talk to him to watch over us and his brothers, I look at his pictures and the pain stabs me so hard, but yet I have no tears, can you dry up like a prune? My therapist said it's normal to me I don't feel normal I want to feel the crying, the pain in my heart, so Iknow it's real I feel somedays he is just out and will be back. 4 months already. I know I count day each day, Now thanksgiving coming up and my birthday and Christmas and his one brothers b/d is Christmas too, then New Year's Eve, his birthday he'd be sweet 16. I feel like I'm not me anymore. |
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Angie-Eugene's Mom
IP: 70.190.217.121 Nov 12th, 2007 - 2:08 PM |
Re: tomorrow
Hi Bette, For me it is 6 months that my angel has been gone from me. I give you alot of credit because you are still working. I quit my job after three months because I could not keep on working.I have not even gone thru my son's room. Yes, he was 34 years old and still living with me but that was because he had just had heart surgery in January 2006 and he was getting himself back on track.Sometimes I cry everyday and then there are times that I can go for days without crying but I never have stop thinking about him. I think about him from the time I get up and the time I go to bed. I miss him so very much. His birthday is on December 9th and I am not looking forward to that day or the holidays.When you say that you don't feel like yourself anymore that is exactly the way I feel. I feel like this is somebody else's life that I am living.I feel like half of me has died and the other half is so broken that I can not function. I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. I will be praying for you and your family. God Bless You. Take Care. |
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Bette
IP: 216.237.180.2 Nov 12th, 2007 - 3:57 PM |
Re: tomorrow
OMG, my birthday is December 9th. Wow. I'm so sorry for your loss, I'll keep you in my prayers, I'm not strong, I just keep going because I have no choice. I had to work to support my other boys, their dad's not in their life, never really was and still isn't. God Bless, and we will pray for each other. Bette Timmy's mom |
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deb
IP: 121.219.2.47 Nov 13th, 2007 - 2:08 AM |
Re: tomorrow
hi there,it has been 5 and a half months since dwayne was murdered and i too no how u are feeling,im back at work in fact i only took 3 weeks off as i wanted to go back,because i dont want to believe that this madness has occurred,i am just a robot,my heart will never be the same again,i am on auto pilot,i want to scream and shout and say its not true,tell everyone that my boy will be home soon i just want to live in denial.i feel like i just want to go to sleep and never wake up.To believe is to painful and i cant deal with it.i dont know what to do.this life sucks and the world is a cold crazy place.you are both in my thoughts,love Deb xxx |
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joann hubert mom
IP: 69.31.155.253 Nov 13th, 2007 - 10:19 PM |
Re: tomorrow
hi betty my name is joann i know how you feel my son hubert was murder on july 27 2007 it;s been a short time now .my birthday was 11 of nov hubert my son was 13th. of nov you know thats hard we went to see the grave how nice it is .we had our tears laughs more cry.the wind would blow then stop then blow then stop i willpray for you all moms-dads lol joann hubert mom. |
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Bette
IP: 216.237.180.2 Nov 14th, 2007 - 11:13 AM |
Re: tomorrow
I went and put a small flower and a picture of him an taped it to the parking pole that he was killed next to last night, sort of an anniversary thing I felt that I needed to do. I put it there somewhat late around 9PM and don't you know it was gone by 8:00 this morning when I rode by while coming to work. Now how could something small like that bother anyone??? Why would someone do this, I have no where to go, can't go to where it happened, yes I can go to the cemetary but I felt that need to do this where it happened. Small callous minded people, they knew who wrote it a litle note by his picture, my son my angel. It really saddened me. |
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Angie-Eugene's Mom
IP: 70.190.217.121 Nov 14th, 2007 - 4:57 PM |
Re: tomorrow
I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. Here in Phoenix, Arizona people are complaining about the markers on the roadways. They say it is a distraction. I can't beleive how something like this can bother people so much. It is so sad. I have a marker up where my son's body was found and everytime I go to visit I pray on my way there that it is still up. God Bless you Bette. My prayers are with you. |
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Kasi's Mama
IP: 75.89.50.26 Nov 14th, 2007 - 5:37 PM |
Re: tomorrow
Bette, Honey, just know that he isn't there where it happened, he is at peace. His soul is with Jesus and his spirt is around you. Not in some terrible place where his life ended. At least that is what I always tell myself about my daughter. |
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TERRY{CEDRIC'S}MOM
IP: 69.153.221.50 Nov 16th, 2007 - 10:51 AM |
Re: tomorrow
Bette and Angie sorry for your lost my son Cedric was murder on 1/3/07 and I can't belive how time has past it feels like just yesterday and I to cry everyday and still can't understand why? But I guess I will never undestand.Bette I to have times that I can't cry but I think it's because I keep thinking that this is a bad dream and that I will wake up that we all will wake up and have our babies back . But my prayers are with you and Angie you don't have to tell us why your son was still living with you that was your baby and that's your home and trust me when I say I would let my son live with me as long as he like and I wish that ass hole wouldn't have murdered him because I don't care with anyone say's he was my baby and so sweet to me and he could live with me until I die but some eivl person took that from me I hope you understand with I'm tring to say. I love you all my sister Terry{Cedric's}MOM |
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Angie-Eugene\'s Mom
IP: 70.190.217.121 Nov 16th, 2007 - 11:36 AM |
Re: tomorrow
Thank You, Terry. |
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deb
IP: 121.219.2.47 Nov 16th, 2007 - 4:21 PM |
Re: tomorrow
hi bette,its deb (dwaynes mum)every week i go and place flowers on a tree near where dwayne was murdered i too have lamenated a photo and taped it to the tree i go every week and place fresh flowers,that i too tape to the tree,thankfully no one has ever tampered with it,other than to place some more there,i dont know who it is,but i thank them when i'm there.some one even leaves him a cigerette,so i can only imagine how horrible it would be to find it gone,but i would just keep replacing it,one day someone will see who it is that takes it down.love always deb xx |
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