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Janice
 IP: 64.12.117.6 Nov 26, 06 - 4:13 PM |
Memories and the Holidays
Okay Thanksgiving has come and gone Our intentions were to go to the cemtery to visit Maeghanns grave We were in Oklahoma and got a call one of our daughters was having a allergic reaction to something she ate We had to hurry back to Missouri so we didn't get to go to her grave. We really regret that but the daughter had swelling in her eye and we were scared she is okay now after scare and some benedril. Today Sunday is our youngest daughters birthday she is 17 and we had the kids over for ourThanksgiving/Birthday dinner and at Church we sang How great thou Are and I just about broke down after the first verse You see that is what my husband sang at Maeghanns funeral It was so hard. Dinner was good but We were missing two families my other Daughter who husband had to work and Our Maeghann. Her Birthday is next Sunday I hate these first's \ |
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Kayt Fossler
IP: 216.98.171.164 Nov 26th, 2006 - 4:35 PM |
Re: Memories and the Holidays
Bless you Janice, for the firsts, are the worst. I am one of the veterns here, going on five years now and like Lorre and Michel I can say it does get easier. The holidays have always been hard for me, even before Wes was murdered, I dreaded them, they always brought on the blues and I always wished I could just sleep through them. Now I realise, how lucky I was and wished I could have celebrated with gusto. Today I try to surround myself with all the grandkids. I live for them and through them. We tell a lot of stories about the past, making sure we include a lot of storeis with uncle Wes in them. We always end up laughing, because he was such a nut and did get into a lot of silly mischeif as a child. I try very hard to include my other sons, for I know they felt like the ghosts, for quite awhile after Wes died. It was very hard for me to focus on anything but my dead son and I know the other boys felt left out(they told me so) I am glad your daughter is fine and that you made it through Thanksgiving, I did too, a little easier than last, so much better than the first. I too, break down when I hear the music we had at Wes's memorial but I suspect I always will, it brings back such bittersweet memories. You know, you may have been dissapointed you didn't get to go to Maeghanns, grave but she was right there with all of you. God bless you, I will be thinking of you next Sunday. Kayt |
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michele
IP: 71.97.129.97 Nov 26th, 2006 - 5:01 PM |
Re: Memories and the Holidays
for me the firsts were definately the hardest. but what was worse was the ANTICIPATION of the firsts. it still is. but now that i have been through the holidays;birthdays; anniversaries;etc. a time or two(or six) i try to remember that the anticipation of the day is usually harder than when the day actually comes. i know that next sunday will be very hard for you. what i usually do now is try to find some little way to celebrate the birthdays to remember their lives-not death. i usually do this alone, as no one seem to understand or remember why these dates are special to me. one year my councilor met me at the cemetary and released some baloons. he made me stand there and watch until the balloons had drifted out of sight. he then remarked that just because i could not see the balloons didnt mean that they werent up there. that was a huge revalation for me. i am rambling at this point...i just wanted to tell you that i will be praying for you especially next sunday. this is a hard time so be gentle with yourself. try to push the bad stuff out and thank God and your daughter for the time you had together. i know-easier said than done!!god bless you, michele |
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