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Kathy Mordecai "Ty's Mom"
 IP: 70.143.61.217 Oct 28, 06 - 9:32 PM |
A Good Day--But such a PAINFUL DAY!
I guess here I am again whining and complaining about what a good yet painful day today has been. I should not do that as I know that I am sadly enough not the only mother out there feeling such pain, so please understand (as I know you do) and help me as you have so many times since August 3, 2006. Today should have been a completely joyful day. Today was my son Ty's baby boy's 3rd birthday. His name is Riley. I was lucky in the fact that Riley's mother let me pick Riley up yesterday and I was supposed to keep him until tomorrow, Sunday, and then take him home for a surprise birthday party at his mothers home. But things came up I guess and they picked Riley up tonight instead of my taking him home tomorrow. We, Ty's family had a birthday party for Riley here complete with a Mickey Mouse (his favorite) birthday cake make from cupcakes and more toys than he knew what to do with----A good Day----Right? I fought back the tears, left the room to cry, so that Riley would not see me fall apart. He is too young to understand, it was a happy day for him and for us, in the fact that we got to share his birthday with him--but for the Love of God----------What do I say to my son's baby boy when he asks when his Daddy will be home? Is Daddy going to come to eat cake with me? Then to top it off, Riley's mother called and asked if she could pick him up tonight, because they had company that had not seen Riley in a long time. She did not do this to be mean in any way and I know that, but you also have to remember that before my son Ty was murdered, he had sole full custody of Riley and they both lived with me. Since there are no Grandparent Rights in the state of Oklahoma, when Ty was murdered the courts gave Riley back to his mother. It just killed me even more when they came to pick Riley up and he did not want to leave. He cried, threw a major fit----------he wanted to stay with his Nana. I am dying more and more each day, does the pain only continue to become more unbearable with each passing day-----I can't do this---it is just too much and what about Riley, he is only 3 he must think that his daddy has just abandoned him---I just don't know how to handle this anymore. First Riley's birthday, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then Ty's birthday-----Then everything with the Trial for the ???!!!**** that took my son from his own son, from me, from his family---I just don't think I can be that strong. I will stop, I just don't know who else to talk to that understands what I am feeling. only those of you who know first hand what pain I feel understands----I just don't know how to continue. Kathy "Ty's Mom" |
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michele
IP: 71.97.129.97 Nov 1st, 2006 - 11:33 AM |
Re: A Good Day--But such a PAINFUL DAY!
kathy, i just found this web site today and have been touched by you entries. i have responded to many of your messages of despair. as i mentioned before i lost both of my sons on oct 28 2000. do not ever feel the need to say you are sorry for how you feel. "owning" your feelings allows you to move through the grief process. allow yourself sadness, dispair, joy;whatever you feel is okay. you can help ease riley's pain and anxiety by being honest and keeping his dad's memory alive by telling him stories of how much his daddy loved him and fun times they shared together. maybe make a memory book for him about your son's life. keeping you in my prayers at this especially difficult time. things will get easier. michele-jonny and eric's mom |
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Tracey (Terrell's MOM)
IP: 141.152.56.31 Nov 1st, 2006 - 6:50 PM |
Re: A Good Day--But such a PAINFUL DAY!
Michele, I'm so sorry, when I read your message that your sons were murderered six years ago, I unfairly assumed that their murders weren't on the same day. I also didn't realize that the 6 years of the anniversary of their deaths had just recently passed on October 28. We MOMS that suffered through the first year after our children were murderered, know that your pain of reliving their deaths didn't end at 12:01am on October 29 and since it has only been 4 days, that the pain of rememberance on that fateful anniversary lingers weeks sometime months. Thank God, you found this site. So I'm praying for you that God may grant you the peace and comfort that you need to know your boys are safe in God's arms and that they have their arms around you embracing you with love...and one day you will HAVE YOUR BOYS BACK AGAIN!!! God Bless You Tracey (Terrell's Mother) |
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michele
IP: 71.97.129.97 Nov 11th, 2006 - 7:45 PM |
Re: A Good Day--But such a PAINFUL DAY!
dear tracey, thank you for your support and understanding |
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