I just got an e-mail from our school's CSE chair saying that they're going to pay for a Relationship Development Assessment on my son by a certified RDI consultant. If you respond to this message, I'll tell you how I did it.

Hi Joyce,

I've been looking into RDI a bit since talking to Rose, and would love to hear what you have to say about it. Also, I'm always interested in finding out ways to have services provided... do tell!

I had an amazing weekend at the Boston DAN! conference. Met some amazing people, and was just bombarded with all types of information. Also got to meet & listen to David Kirby speak about his new book "Evidence of Harm"... just jaw dropping. Anyway, the whole experience has refreshed me & given me even more hope towards recovering my son!

Since you asked about RDI, I will tell what has happened with us so far. First some background. My son, Joe, who will be 16 in June was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 5. He's able to function fairly well in structured situations, but tends to withdraw in unstructured settings. His teachers love him to death, but he doesn't have any friends outside of the family.

When I started learning about RDI, it made so much sense to me. It's what I wish we had available starting when Joe was in pre-school. Anyway, we got the video and I watched it with Joe. For Joe, it was sort of an eye opener. He could finally understand how he's different from the majority of his peers. It made him really receptive to RDI. He wants to learn to feel more comfortable in social situations.

We wish there was a social group at school, made up of kids who are at the same level of social development. But since he's in high school, that is a tall order. So we're going to focus on doing activities at home that can help fill in the gaps in his social development.

Then we got a couple of books (that I recommend on the Social Skills page of this web-site) and tried some of the lower level activities. Again, Joe was receptive, but I have the nagging question--just where is Joe in his social development? Are the activities I was doing appropriate for him? We're so used to compensating for him, it's hard for me to be objective about what he really needs to work on.

So, we decided that we really need an assessment by a certified RDI consultant. First I wrote a letter and asked for the RD Assessment as an "independent eval" because the school hadn't really evaluated his social skills, even though he has been getting social work for years. They responded that they had someone, in house but not RDI certified, that could evaluate his social skills for us. That's nice, but it won't help us figure out what stage on the RDI spectrum Joe is at. So we went to the CSE meeting and explained why we felt we needed the eval, how RDI is research based, etc. The chairperson said she would consider it after reviewing research on the effectiveness of RDI. I just "happened" to have with me a copy of an article about RDI that had been published in an autism journal. (You can download it at www.rdiconnect.com). I also forwarded some newsletters from the Connection Center (via e-mail). Finally, we got an e-mail response from the CSE chair that they are willing to pay for the eval, with the understanding that the bulk of the therapy will take place outside of home and that the eval has to take place before the end of this school year.

Made a couple of typos in the previous message that I didn't notice until after I posted it. Can't figure out how to edit it, so have to add a correction.

In the last sentence, I said that the bulk of the therapy would have to take place "outside of the home." I meant, inside the home, outside of school.